From My Notebook

Part 1; Ghosts

What is a ghost? 

Many wonder, some ponder. 

It's too bad. 

If only they knew. Then they would chose to forget about it altogether. They probably wouldn't be able to forget though.

It's not something I chose, this ability. It's something fate sent me.

I wish I could forget. But no. I get reminded every morning, every night. Every hour, minute, second. 

I know. The pain. The sorrow. It's always within me. 

You see, I see them. I understand them. Know them. See them. 

I see them.

There has never been a moment when I didn't wish I couldn't. But I can.

At first, I thought it was normal. I didn't fully understand the extent of what I was seeing.

I just passed it off as normal, thats what I thought it was. Normal.

But one day, I asked.  I asked what these beings were.

My mother panicked. My siblings laughed as if I were telling a joke.

It's no joke.

It's reality.

All the souls passing by on to somewhere else.

It's no joke.

Every moment is the saddest moment. For someone else. But I have to feel it. All of it.

Sometimes, I wonder if there are others out there like me. 

Sometimes it makes me feel better thinking someone else is going through the same things as I am.

And then I realize that they would be going though the same things that I am. 

The same, terrible, things.

Even if there were someone like that, cruel Fate wouldn't allow us to meet anyway.

Sometimes, I wish I could go where all those beings are going.

I'm not brave enough. Not even close.

Besides I would never want my family to feel the sorrow I have felt my whole life.

I would never forgive myself.

I see.

And I know.

And I feel.

And I hate every second of my life.

But at least I have life. Unlike those ghosts.

That's what they are, ghosts.

Ghosts of who they once were. 

They will never smile again, never cry again.

In a way I'm like them. I never smile or cry. It just doesn't happen.

Never will they know the pleasures of life again. 

I never knew that.

They, are the Ghosts.

A/N  on that incredibly bright beginning to a new thing I'm doing hello if you're reading this!!! I was really surprised by how sad that turned out to be. ;'''( However I hope you enjoyed anyway cause I really put my heart into that one. The next story will probably be a little brighter? Who knows. Anyway this'll be updated every Friday I hope with maybe a few exceptions. Well Friday night Pacific Daylight Time anyway.