"______, aren't you being too harsh?" his voice was soft... Soft, small and raw. So unlike his usual stern and firm voice. His vulnerable side had been manifesting more frequently recently it seems... And every time you see him like that, a part of you still dies. Merely seeing him hurt was still enough to hurt you.

"T-Then w-wh-why don't you two just go fuck off and stop bothering me?!" your breathing had become deep. Clenching your hands to your sides, you shoot them a glare. "G-go screw all you want," a tear had travelled down your cheek, "And go help Japan increase in numbers!"

"But I didn't want this _____," she replied tears also forming her eyes, "Not this early..."

"You think I'm not having a hard time too?" you said smiling bitterly that it actually hurt. "You two are so important to me yet this happened... I want to forgive and just forget but it's hard... It's so fucking hard. You know that?"

None of them spoke. And none of them dared look into your eyes.

"Were you even serious with me, Shuzo?" that made him look at you immediately. Surprise was evident on his heartbreakingly handsome face. He opened his mouth to answer your question but you didn't want to hear his answer as you beat him to it, "Leave me alone for now... Please?"

You just saw him give you a small nod before leaving. A frown made its way to your face as you looked at your friend who was still standing there. Now what?

"I could vaguely remember that night but..."

"But what?" you said to finish this pointless conversation.

"I'm sure of it, ______," she finally met your eyes and smiled sadly. She looked sad yet at the same time there was something else in her eyes that you couldn't quite put a finger to as she added,

"Shuzo was moaning your name,"

She left you dumbfounded with what she just said.

Shuzo was what? Moaning your name. You wanted to laugh. How was that supposed to affect you? It just hurt even more. It was like being stabbed, then the knife being turned and twisted in you widening the wound. Then your friend comes and tells you she'd help you but she just put salt on the wound then stabbed you again...

'Shuzo was moaning your name,'

Thanks for the reminder that he loved me but he got someone else pregnant... And that it's over for us...

---------------------------

You've sworn to yourself that you'd move on, not think about the "what if's" and maybe, just maybe... Forgive and forget. You knew it will be hard, like hella hard. That same friend who cheered you on to believe in Shuzo... was now carrying his child. Their child.

Damn. Stop thinking about him. Them.

You did your best to get your mind off that black-haired bastard. But despite your efforts to forget about your feelings for him, you still found yourself scrolling through your gallery staring at all your pictures with him and reminisce. You couldn't even bring yourself to delete those photos. Pathetic...

Shuzo meant so much to you. So much that it hurt. He tried to talk to you, but you couldn't bring yourself to. What else was there to talk about? A compromise? After that? No way. Even if he insisted that it was unintentional...

'Shuzo was moaning your name,'

You didn't want to believe her... yet at the same time you wanted to. You wanted to believe that indeed, Shuzo loved only you, that even in that night of passion... He was thinking only of you. But still...

Drizzle [Nijimura Shuzo]Where stories live. Discover now