Okay, I'm done with comparing the masterpiece that is Harry Potter to the... Thing that is Twilight. So, instead, I will compare a whole sub-genre to Twilight.
The Jeff the Killer love stories are almost always beautifully well-written. They pull you in with interesting characters, brilliant plots, and great villains such as Liu, Jane, and many more villains created by the author. Twilight has a group called the Voltori (I butchered that name, I think.) So, I'm here to count the one hundred reasons why JTK love stories are the superior books. Comment if you agree and write your own reasons. Maybe they'll even make it into the next chapter.
1. Jeff doesn't sparkle. End of discussion.
2. Even the heroines that go insane and start killing are better role-models than Bella. They don't go suicidal when Jeff leaves them for their own safety, though he usually doesn't leave them.
3. The villains are interesting and have character. Hell, sometimes I even feel bad for them. Jane's parents were killed by Jeff, giving her a reason to be so angry and want revenge. As far as I know, the Voltori just want to be dicks.
4. If it's a love-triangle, the third boy DOESN'T RIP HIS SHIRT OFF EVERY. FIVE. MINUTES.
5. This is an opinion, but I think Jeff's hair is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay sexier than Edwards. It's long, black, choppy, and just looks badass.
6. The first chapter of JessDuhChoa's Jeff the Killer love story made me laugh more than the entire first book of Twilight.
7. When the heroine in a Jeff the Killer love story acts depressed or self-harms, there's usually a good reason for it. What's Bella's reason for being sad? Nothing. She has a loving father, two guys fighting over her, and she's pretty. I don't see any problems.
8. Jeff and his friends, they're scary as fuck. I would piss myself if I saw one of them (except for Masky, who I would kidnap and keep in my basement). But I wouldn't fear any of these sparkly bitches.
9. The Count from Sesame Street is a better, more dignified representation of what a vampire, at least he doesn't sparkle.
10. Jeff is so much more protective and loving. He puts his life in danger on multiple occasions to save the romantic interest, rather than just looking at her funny.
11. If it's a love triangle, the character will usually choose the one that's better for her, not the abusive one that SPARKLES!!! (Never getting over that Stephanie Meyers did that to the mighty vampire.)
12. The titles MAKE SENSE!!! Though some of them are horrible puns on the words "Smile", "Knife", and "Blood", they still make some sense! Jeff smiles forever, he kills people with a knife, and blood comes out when he does. What kind of sense does "Twilight", "Breaking Dawn", "Eclipse", and "New Moon" make?
13. The heroine isn't a shallow little emotionless box.
14. "I'm infertile, Jeff. I will never have a child."- Jasmine to Jeff in the brilliant masterpiece, Smile for Me by X_InSaNiTy_X. HOW DOES THAT NOT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING?!?!
15. Jeff the Killer love stories often have brilliant comic relief, one of my favorites being BEN from Smile for Me. There's no comic relief in Twilight. If there is, I didn't find it.
