Never Too Late (a danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Prolouge

"Sometimes," he said, sliding his hands around my waist, "people just want to be happy, even if it's not real" his soft lips enveloped my own before breaking away and whispering into my ear, "but I promise you, this is real."

I wanted to believe him but my troubled mind wouldn't let me, not after all those years of... hard times. He'll hurt you, like the others did, he's using you! Struggling to escape my thoughts, I sighed deeply, they would forever be there and I forever broken. I wished I could be as bright and playful as the girls in the magazines; the had a natural air of 'I am content with myself and want to show you my body' while not being cocky. I knew they were photo shopped, changed and plastered into the 'perfect' body image but I still wanted it.

I'd always want it.

I needed it. To fix my fat thighs, my ugly wrists, my chubby cheeks and my uneven face. Except from my bright rainbow hair, there was nothing I liked about myself, but that was hardly natural so I couldn't count it. I'm ugly. I've lived with it for so long, inside and out- I wished it would all just stop.

Being caught up in my thoughts I hadn't realised that I was alone in the room, however I heard pacing footsteps in the hall. When I looked at the doorway I could see that his head was popped around the doorframe before rushing up to me. He held me tight in an embrace, tears steaming down his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused, when a pang of realisation and guilt shot through me, "what have I done? How long was I out for?" my voice raised near the end, I was worried and felt sick. Then I noticed that he was looking down, at my arms, and stroking my wrists tentatively. Not being able to bear looking down, I scanned the room, I found what I was looking for. A bloodied kitchen knife had been thrown to the other side of the room. The blood seeped into vision, dripping down my arm onto the sofa.

I'd never be perfect. I'm just a pile of dirt ready to be blown away into the wind. Worthless. Stupid. Fat. Ugly. Unloved. Mae. Me.

A/N

Thanks for reading the first chapter or prologue or whatever you call it! I promise that it won't all be this depressing but there will be more stuff like it so if you don't like it then go away v please... but read anyway because it might be good! Thanks, Georgia.