Never Too Late (a danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 2

   I stood there, shocked at myself and for what I'd just seen before me.  I knew him.

I knew him.

    And yet we'd never met before. At least 3 years it had been since my chest had exploded with emotions over a single person, just one small movement of their mouth, a flick of the hair... Surely that couldn't have been the very same boy that had been by my side the whole of school, using his videos as a reason to carry on. His support saved my life. Although he had no idea who I was.

     It had been at least 3 minutes of me stood there, mouth open, before I realised that he'd returned upstairs. If he was upstairs then that could mean that he was living with- no, that would be too good to be true. Too awkward. Too embarrassing. I'm better alone, away from anyone who might want to interact, to mess up my fragile life just as it's... getting nowhere. 

     I grabbed for the door handle and yanked it open to be greeted with an empty hall, just the stairwell to my right and a tall, white wall to my left. A rounded window sat in front of me, allowing anyone else on the 23rd floor to see me, pale as a sheet. 

     It had been 4 months since I'd last opened the door, 4 months of takeaways, 4 months of loneliness, 4 months of sleeping throughout the day. 4 months wasn't long enough;  I slammed the door again and began sorting myself out, I couldn't find out who this guy was while looking like a troll. I applied my make-up quickly without error and straightened my hair. 

     It fell just above my armpit at the front but at the back it had grown longer. I hesitated in the bathroom, contemplating whether to wear contacts or glasses but swiped up my glasses before shoving on a blue hoodie and red converse without thought. I grabbed my key and began tip-toeing up the stairs, if I was caught then I'd never be able to say "Oh, I thought you were one of my childhood obsessions that helped me survive depression and I just had to check".  I carried on climbing, beginning to feel more comfortable as I began climbing on all fours, like a toddler would while playing an imaginary game. Just as I had begun this embarassing feat of pretending to be a secret agent, a guy with black hair came parading out of the flat, he noticed me and was about to say something just as I sprinted back downstairs. 

     Once again, I knew him. His hair fell on the opposite side of his face than on that of the brown haired guy. He too was really tall, taller than what I expected. I thought maybe the camera made him look like a giant, or maybe he only took photos with short fans. I didn't know. My mind was racing, it was the most awake I'd felt in ages, my senses were buzzing. 

     I didn't like it.

Just as I collapsed into my sofa, the rain began pouring on the window, the noise was overpowering but perhaps the rain was all I needed to straighten myself out, to restore myself to how I should be, blunt and unenergised- it may be boring but it was me, what I was used to and how I liked it. There was a banging at my door as the man knocked.

     After waiting for the knocking to stop, I heard a loud sigh, a mumbling of some unintelligable words and the familiar sound of footsteps up the stairs, I left the building quickly, hoping not to bump into anyone on the way down. The stairs seemed too risky so I took the lift. My fingers jammed the button over and over again, I was impatient to get outside. Thunder clattered and lightning illuminated the hige London towers around me. 

     Eventually the lift arrived and I got outside, the droplets multiplied every second and quickly became heavier until it was almost like hail. With the rain came the anger, the sadness, the frustration with everything that powered me forward. Tears mixed with the rain but a smile creeped along my face. Happy being sad. Content with being uncontent. Loneliness wasn't a problem when I was surrounded with rain, clattering against pipes, bouncing from sewer grates. 

     I found myself in the park by my favourite restaurant. I'd never actually seen the building before, but I knew that the take-out was delicious and cheap. A huge green canopy spread out over the street, leading from all directions to the front door. There was a queue of at least 3 groups already outside, waiting for access, take-away was definitely the better option.

     I sat myself on a bench, tucking my hands underneath my armpits for the warmth which wasn't there. The rain rattled on before abruptly stopping, droplets continued falling from the leaves above my head, the remaining drops cascading down my face into my lap and then the grass below.

      Soaked to the bone, I stood up and made my way back home. I had a thing for zoning out. It had come more apparent recently as the human interaction proven. I had obviously not been paying much attention to my walking throug the rain as I was at least 30 minutes away. I decided to hail a taxi, not much use having everyone see me in such a mess anyway. 

     After a few minutes of waiting and walking, a taxi pulled over and I jumped in quickly, welcoming the warmth that came from within. I told the driver my adress and I began the drive back. 

     The warm really was relaxing as I fell asleep where I was. 

"Oi, lady! Money. Now!" Came a gruff voice, the driver, "Wake up. Get out" I hurridly gathered myself together and rushed out of the cab, handing over the money. The tyres squeaked as he drove away. My arms began shivering as the cold caught up to me. There was still a long walk up the stairs to go yet as the owner of the flat refused to allow any dampness into the lift. Sometimes I really hated that guy. 

     I began the tedious trek, still shivering. Looking down and wrapping my arms around myself, I didn't notice the people staring at me sympathetically as they passed me going the opposite direction. Cold. Cold. Cold.

    'Just four more flights of stairs to go' I thought. My legs were wavering and my body was still shivering although I had mostly dried off. I carried on climbing, my breath ragged from the exercise. 

Four.

Three.

Two...

     I stopped counting and carried on walking until I reached what I supposed was my floor. I didn't look up to check, worried it might lose some of my precious body heat. I pushed through the doors and leant against the wall, the familar wooden door beside me. They were all familiar actually. They all looked exactly the same. But I slotted my key into the lock and turned it. I pushed the door to open it but it wouldn't budge. I pushed it once again with more force before turning the key the other way. Still locked shut. I slammed my hand against the door before sighing. I'd have to go back downstairs to ask for another key that actually worked. Luckily I had dried off but my hair was still dripping so I edged towards the lift, hoping that there weren't any secret cameras around. 

     I slammed at the door once more before turning towards the lift. The door opened behind me and a voice echoed in my head.

     "Erm... Hey. Would you mind not bashing at the door please?" It was the same guy that had come to ask if was okay. I glanced at the wall beside the stairs. Crap. Floor 24. One too far. I just wanted to turn around and see if he actually was who I thought he was. But at the same time I just wanted to run and hide.

     Slowly, I turned myself to face him. And there he was. Dan Howell. Stood right there, with Phil Lester looking suspiciously over his shoulder. It was them. I froze.