twenty-one; rekindling

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"The lightsaber needs to be an extension of your arm."

Kylo ignites his own rugged lightsaber, demonstrating. It instantly comes to life, obeying its master's command. The whirring sound it produces is as menacing as ever, once again sending shivers down your spine. You can feel the power radiating from its very core- the cracked kyber crystal- raw, powerful, barely contained. Its power is mysterious; definitely dark, but so seducing. You're completely mesmerised by it.

He wields it around with ease; the cherry-red glow of the lightsaber illuminating any surface it encounters in the dimly lit room. It's taking all your mental effort to not look at his muscles as he swings the sabre around. He's wearing a sleeveless shirt today, looking particularly casual; nothing like the usual Kylo Ren attire.

Needless to say, it's hard to keep your focus on the lightsaber.

It's been two days since he told you the kiss was a mistake, two days since you found out you will not be accompanying him on the mission. In those two days you didn't see him once; although you could always sense his presence near. On both nights you had silently wept; you felt so pathetic, you felt so lost. Half of you wanted to punish yourself for feeling the way you did- the words 'it was just one kiss' endlessly bouncing off the walls of your head- but the other half wanted to punish Kylo- find him, hurt him, make him feel the same pain.

How could you lose something you never had?

You suddenly realise how dangerously close to your neck the lightsaber is, making you lose your train of thought, bringing you back to the reality that is this miserable meeting between you both; where one refuses to acknowledge his feelings, and the other refuses to let go of her own.

"Focus."

"I am, Kylo. Let's just build mine already."

He sighs, retracts the blade, and sits down on one of the two chairs situated at the metal table in the room. Carelessly flinging the metallic hilt of the lightsaber across the table, he impatiently gestures for you to sit.

"Yours is already built," he begins quietly as you sit down. You're extra careful to shift your position as far away from him as possible. "I've worked closely with Snoke these past two days-"

Equally hurt that he had not included you in building it and impatient to see it, you interrupt him, "Yeah, so show me it."

He opens his mouth to say something but hesitates, and then, after a couple of seconds he says, "You have to be careful with it, you've already had a foolish accident."

The look you give him- had looks had the power to kill someone right on the spot- would've left him lifeless. You don't say anything; know your look got the message across.

He frowns; "At this point we can't risk losing you. We don't have time to look around for more Force-sensitives and train them." How do I tell her I don't want her to get hurt? To be careful?

"I understand. There are a lot of things you don't have the time for." You click your tongue as you lean back in your chair, folding your arms across your chest.

Kylo stands up and, with his back to you, rolls his eyes at your comment. He walks up to the door and presses a small, red button on the door's control-pad, and says something into the microphone.

After some seconds of awkward silence, a voice crackles over the speaker: "Permission to enter the room, Sir."

You instantly recognise Phasma's voice, your stomach churning as your thoughts travel to your stormtrooper training days. But then you remember; she has no power over you now.

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