Dan Avidan x Reader FanFiction; Vivid

Chapter 5: Distance

Note: Sorry about the lack of updates, I can post shorter chapters (not that they're particularly  long anyhow) if that's easier, but college life man. I'll try to update atleast once a week. Also; thank you for all the positive feedback!

I stopped and my racing heart adhered, with electric pulses halting me from my next action, with Ross below me sighing in relief, and with the streaked haired mans voice now resonating through the room. Like a rising pitch in my hearing, or underwater the same - everything was muffled and I couldn't cut through the slows of this conversation; mellowing and simmering the crashing waters in Ross's eyes and roaring blaze in the other mans, the neutrality of this scene was alarming. I blinked more, as the glaze showering my eyesight remained unmoved, and with rising monotonous voices I tried to focus this fleeting vision - was this a headache of some sort, a migraine even? Pointless questioned plagued the void that was my consciousness, trying now, willing even, my brittle bones to move and my quaking voice to pronounce each syllable without a stammer or stutter.

My grasp on reality and this situation was evoked as I felt Barry's grasp on my shoulder, sympathetic yet alarming and indifferent all the same, but at-least I could contour my iris' to lay over his and focus on his caring eyes and the security within them. Every ounce of numbness left my body and soon the scene resolved as each character slipped easily back into their role, Dan cast his eyes over mine - now removed from the doorframe and stretched towards Ross, offering a hand, between the jokes I no doubt presume he made and the melodramatic actions, he focused on me and my disassociation with it all. Now connecting like the faulty nerve endings in my body, he read the situation and traced his eyes over Barry's hand and my vague expression, that could've been sadness, but he couldn't navigate through the minefield of words he wanted to speak, thus not speaking at all.

An awkward lull phased the room, people were unsure of what was happening and how this scene lacked the comedy and easiness it did before, suddenly I became aware of how out of place it seemed, I seemed. Dan now smiled a thin lipped and clipped smile, out of courtesy maybe, or the pleasantries of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but within the same moment he was speaking to someone else across the room and my lack of facial expression didn't have time to be read. "Arin, we gotta' record more grumps man, I'm sorry..." He smiled a wider smile to the man I now know to be called Arin (streaked hair), his eyes offered the sincerity to the apology his voice was lacking.

My mind wouldn't allow me to focus on anything important, such as thanking Barry, or registering that I made a weird situation whilst zoning out - instead I couldn't shift the associated with the name Arin and his voice and peculiar manner. This consumed me to the extent of an outburst, with my voice shaky from exasperation at myself, I spoke; " Arin!? Why - why, do I know that name." I searched for some recognition between the faces before me, Arin furrowed his brows and a small laugh was buried beneath his expression, to which he followed it with; "I was on this small TV show, you may of heard of it... does, American Pop Idol mean anything to you?" he spoke whilst posing dramatically and lifting his chin to the air in such an extravagant manner I doubted my instance of belief in what he said, and remained silent. However Dan's laughter, that which varied in pitch and tone and compelled his body to move in coherence with the variety of wavelengths, broke through the emptiness. I smiled a slither of an expression, and nodded at Arin agreeing; "Of course! That voice, it's melodic tune, I knew you had some connection to the industry..." Ross stared wide eyed for a minute until Barry rolled his eyes over to him, stating; "it's not a complete lie" he accompanied the ambiguous statement with a shrug.

Ross' look of shock didn't subside, rather he concentrated his vision on Arin, the pop idol before our very eyes. Dan, registering this, shoved Ross jovially, causing him to break away from this trance like state, he accompanied this action with the words; "He wasn't on American Idol you dingus, Barry means starbomb" a small laughter followed his statement and that fragmented emotion seemed to follow him wholly. Arin sighed and exclaimed (with puppy-dog eyes and a pout that seemingly didn't hinder his speech) "Daaaan, why'd you ruin it you big goofball" and Dan' face was lit again with small laughters but his eyes insisted that Arin and him continued with grumps.

I wanted to let them go. To casually wave them away with a grin and believe that I didn't desperately want to be in their presence and that I still didn't crave answers to my questions. I found myself speaking though I willed myself not to, stopping them as they walked back to the grump room, but it was to late to stop my thought. "Arin, I swear... I must recognise you..." I sounded less enthusiastic this time as I'm sure this thought didn't leave everyones mind completely already.

Arin shrugged and tried to act modest but Dan interjected; "Come on dude, you've been around on the internet for a while - he's done animation and art and various things; basically you probably recognise him from some insane creative shit" he said this in faintly annoyed way, you could only hear it in few syllables and the occasional clicks of his tongue on the roof of his mouth. Like a triggering word it flooded back to me, old animations I used so watch... something... 'awesome'? I saw the images flash and signal in my mind, it was him I know him, this is it. Like an alarm it rang in my head and signalled me to speak but I couldn't I just nodded slowly and hoped my sudden look of realisation passed over - I needed to let them go now.

"I bet. It will come to me I guess, anyway see you guys later" I said trying to make contact with the both of them but my eyes focussing on Dan, he was half-relieved and half something else, I couldn't pin down how he ever felt but he moved away and I turned also. I heard Arin's heavy footsteps as he now walked towards the space, I didn't notice if he waved or made any attempt at interaction because I felt like I was already intervening. I made eye contact with Barry and he sat upwards from his hunched position and motioned towards him, a lazy smile cascading over him and his eyelids heavy with the fuzz of static tired eyes.

I spent my afternoon watching Barry and learning each intricate step of his editing job, we'd watch, then practice together, then I'd practise alone and the cycle repeated. Originally we were dragging and dropping intro's creating the end screens and rendering them but when I heard the content something struck me. Arin and Dans voices were loud and unapologetic, their laughter, coughing, murmurs of a joke now taking the blame for the silent laughters and faint breaths clutching for air. They were both hilarious and I had to stop myself from laughing as Barry showed me areas to cut and zoom in on, equally so his editing only amplified the experience and the show seemed to be so perfected I felt almost overwhelmed. How do you build on something like this? The types of relationships they have, the closeness they can share and that which |'ve already seen, I felt alienated though I anticipated every moment of it.

We ran like that up until lunch time, occasionally Ross walked by completely oblivious of us both and focussed on whatever drink he was getting himself, but when he did he exchanged a small wave as if his wrists were bound and his arms locked. Before the official break I had an episode I had to try an edit myself, it took me over 40 minutes to compile everything and choose when to zoom in, how to synchronise it, and the intro's etc. I felt odd listening to the episode, it seemed so personal and the conversation so unique to their relationship - I could only focus on the parts of the video when they were commenting on the game. However I felt myself slipping into a mellow state as I let their stories engage me - It felt odd to enjoy them when they knew so little of me, still hundreds of thousands of people across the globe watched these... why did it feel so odd now knowing them?

We reviewed the video together - despite hearing the same lines already on repeat Barry seemed to be laughing at things he hadn't before, at places where I intervened. The tension grew as I waited for his approval, his criticism, his voice to just disturb the engulfing silence. After the 10:36 minutes were over, he smiled and nodded at me, turning his chair away now and walking in the opposite direction. I went to speak but he shouted back "give me one minute" I nodded at this, then realised he had no way of seeing my acknowledgment, I then attempted to shout back "okay" but he was already almost gone and my voice was still quiet.