A Girl Like Me

16. Guilty Conscience

I turned to go, taking one last look at Liam. His face was slightly crumpled like he was on the brink of crying (he was always the emotional type) and he kept running his hands through his hair, watching as I got further and further away from him. It could well have been the last time I ever saw him.

I mouthed goodbye.

***

The guilt hit me when I reached the hostel where Cole was waiting in the lobby. And it wasn't guilt towards Liam, it was towards Cole because I kissed another guy. Well technically he kissed me.

"They aren't back from the science expedition yet," he said. He looked so... happy. His mouth was curved into this perfect warm smile and his dark eyes were bright and shiny. I had to force myself to look happy.

"Why aren't you with them?" I asked, dropping my penny board on the ground and putting one foot on it to steady it from rolling away.

"I wanted to be here when you got back," he said. My insides felt as if they were melting. How sweet was he?

"Aw," I said. "You're so cute!"

I stood on my tiptoes to peck his lips. Then I leaned against his muscly frame, feeling safe and warm as he enveloped me in a hug. "So I have our date set up for tonight," he whispered into my hair.

I wanted to feel excited. I really did. But all I could think of was what a bad person I was. I had such a guilty conscience. "I can't wait," I replied, trying to muster up some enthusiasm.

I felt his body stiffen a little. "You don't sound that excited," he commented. "Is your grandad doing better?"

"The same," I said. "And I'm sorry, I really am looking forward to it."

We pulled away from our embrace just as the door swung open and crowds of students flooded in. The science expo was over I guessed. "When are we going on this date?" I asked him in a low voice as people sauntered past us.

"Midnight."

"Midnight?" I asked him in disbelief.

"Midnight," he confirmed, smiling secretively. "We're sneaking out."

Our conversation ended there though because Nikki had come up to me. "Hey, can you come up to my room before dinner?" She asked, and watched me intently with her soft brown eyes.

"Sure," I said.

She disappeared again with a fleeting smile, and when I turned back to Cole, he was also gone.

***

I knocked on Nikki's door half an hour before dinner was to be served. I heard a few crashes and bangs before the door swung open and Finn appeared in the doorway. I raised my eyebrows and smiled to myself. He was shirtless, just wearing sweatpants and his black hair was all over the place for once. At first I thought he'd just woken up or something, but then I noticed the lipstick marks on his neck.

"Err...is this a bad time?" I said, holding back a smile. "I think Nikki wanted to see me."

Finn turned his head into the room and started muttering something to who I was guessing was Nikki. Then he opened the door wider and I saw Nikki standing there. She was wearing a crumpled dress and I guessed that she had just thrown it on when I arrived.

"Come on in, Bianca," she said, patting down her shiny dark hair. "Finn was just leaving..." She threw him a t-shirt and a pair of shoes before shoving him out the door.

I shrugged and joined her in their messy room. It was exactly the same layout as my room with a single and a double bed as well as a bathroom. "How are things?" I asked her tentatively as I sat on the edge of the single bed. I felt like things were a bit awkward between us because of Amy.