Ill Remember You

Do i really have to go?

I woke up and dragged myself out of bed. I had another dream of him last night. It was the night of his death he was crying "do i have to go??" Again and again till he pulled the trigger. Today will be the 1 month anniversary of Haydens suicide. God i miss him. I wish i could see him one last time.
Hayden had depression and the worst kind at that. He would always talk to me, well up until a week before he killed his self.

Two months ago
I was sitting on my bed doing my homework when Hayden walked in. He had tears in his eyes and was shaking. "What wrong??" I said as i jumped up and walked to him. "She did it again. She left again. Why? Why does she hate me?" He cried. Haydens mom has been in and out of his life since his 8th birthday party. That was the day we became best friends. He knew he could talk to me cause my dad left when i was 5. I hugged him and took him to my bed. "Its okay." Is all i said.
That night he slept over. He stayed for two weeks. He began growing distant and acting strange. I didnt know what was wrong cause he wouldn't talk to me. The day before his death we was walking in the woods behind my house, we climbed in the tree house that we built when we where 10. He said his dad was going to make him move to Arizona. Meaning that he wasn't going to be able to talk to me anymore. I didn't wont him to go but i had no choice.
That night we slept in the tree house because he would leave the next day. Before we went to sleep he kissed me and told me he loved me and whispered "do i have to go?".

When i woke up he was gone. I got my shoes and jacket on and walked back to my house.
My mom called me into the living room and told me to take a seat, she had to tell me something. " bailey, there is no right way to say this but Hayden is gone." My mom told me with a empathic face. "Yea i know, he moved, he already told me." I said. my mom had a tear come down her check. " no baby, he is dead. He committed suicide this morning." I looked at her with disbelief. She cant be telling the truth, Hayden wouldn't do that. Not my Hayden. "What. What do you mean. He was just with me last night." I said. My mom got a small box out of her purse and handed it to me. Inside it was his class ring. I knew then that she was telling the truth. He has never taken this off. I started shaking my head. No. This isn't happening. I felt my whole world collapse. Why? Why? I got my keys and ran outside. I hoped in my truck and drove to his house. Ambulances were everywhere. Then i saw him, on the ground with a sheet over him. I ran toward him but before i could get to him a cop held me back. I started screaming his name. Blinded by my tears. My heart felt like it was ripped open and burned. I fought my way out of the cops arms and ran to Hayden. " why hayden, damn it why? I picked him up and put him in my arms. I cried as it started pouring down raining, i was soaked in his blood and rain. I couldn't handle it. I lost the only thing that kept joy in me. I didnt know what to do.
The cops ran to me and picked me up. They told me they were going to take me home. I didnt speak. I just cried and cried. Was this really happening?Did i really just lose my best friend?

Thank yall for reading my first chapter. Comment what yall thought. Tell me if i should make any changes or fix anything. Please tell people about my book.