Secrecy Romance Inside Rachel Berry's Diary

☆Just walk away☆

January 10th

Dear Diary I've mad a decition today I felt bad for going to Shelby yesterday instead of going to my dad's they deserve my trust far more than she does, I mean she's my mother but they were for me my entire life and they deserve me to trust them with my feelings , the true one's not the fachade they've been believing about me and Finn. In their minds Finn and I are wonderful but all those time they saw me happy, smiling, glowint from the inside out it was actually something with Blaine that had actually cause it. 

So following it after my morning rutine and quick healthy breakfast I headed towards their house trying to keep my mind of the fact today was the day Id lose Blaine forever , yes Im not kidding I dont fully understand why the rush but Kurt made today their wedding date, too much in rush funny if you think he was so quickly to judge and jump in to ruin when I wanted to get Married with Finn. Knocking on my dad's home raced my heart I had manage to pull the greatest acting on my friends not that I was proud of it but what was I suppose to do tell them how I was inlove with my best friends boyfriend nd how we both felt atracted towards each other I couldnt . 

My Dad Hiram opened the door giving me a big hug "Rachel darling were we suppose to expect you? Oh let me guess your father forgot to tell me .How silly but come in dear" I nodded and explained how I needed to talk to them finally taking a seat at the couch my other Dad Leroy came from the kitchen seemed they were cooking something . "Rachel what's wrong?" I asked them both to take  a seat and started walking across the living room as I talked "Dad's I havent been fully honest with the both of you which makes me feel awful , not only am I been an awful friend , im also been an awful daughter to you guys who are the best and I love you so I need to be honest, Have you ever liked someone but the timeing was off.... way off? You feel things that you shouldn't be feeling?" .

They both stared at each other and back to me "Anyways ,  the truth is things with Finn and I arent as good as you guys think, we have barely spent any time together I came here he knows I have to go back to NY and he has taken me and my time for granted and .......I fell for Blaine" Then their faces said it all shock as my dad Leroy took a stand "Rachel dear isnt he...you know..gay?" I  formed and line with my lips as I nodded "Not 100% " He turned to look to my other dad Hiram  who spoke"Rachel I know Kurt must be in the back of your mind but does he reciprocate your feelings?", now that was the question in my heart I felt the smallest hope he still felt something for me but at the same time maybe he just felt curious for me just wanted a kiss and all though I knew he was not that type of guy .

 As I didint responded quickly Leroy remembered something "Wait isnt it today Blaine and Kurt's wedding? Oh God darling this much really hurt for you" Hiram made him some kind of eye reprimend and he stood quiet hugging me "Yes it is , I fell inlove with Blaine and today I have to see him the man I could see myself with anywhere marry another man" I sigh as I kept myself around my dad Hiram's arm then Leroy approached and we had a sweet family hug small tears started rolling down my tears "Sweetie I know you want to be strongh but......" Leroy them interrupted Hiram "I think what your father wants to say is you cant go to that wedding rachel you cant torture yourself like this, I think maybe its time you return to NY clear your head and distract yourself with your passion"

 I looked at them and felt relieved they were not judging me for fallen for my best friends boyfriend they were thinking of my well been and they were right I would innerly die if I had to be there watching Blaine walk towards the altar looking so beautiful to someone that wasnt me "So  you dont think im the worst friend ever" I asked with still some tears on my cheek and they both nodded "God No, We are both aware how you two always had some chemestry" Leroy cut in while Hiram was speaking "I even liked him for you he's a very charming talented young man with goals dont get me wrong I do like Finn" I smirked and giggled to myself seemed so silly of me not having trusted them from the beginning with this whole Blaine thing. Then my dad's decide to send me on the first plane they would make up an excuse of me getting called for an audition .

As I was packing home I looked at myself on the mirror of the bathroom after saving all my night and day products on a handbag and began singing

  ♫♪ I guess I should've known better

To believe that my luck could change
(luck could change) ooo
I left my heart out forever
Finally learn each others names
(Each others name)
I tell myself this time
It's different
No goodbyes cuz I
Can't bear to say it
I'll never survive
The one that's coming
If I stay, oh no

[ Chorus: ]
Just walk away ooh
And don't look back
Cause if my heart breaks it's gonna
Hurt so bad
You know I'm strong
But I can't take that
Before it's too late
Ooh just walk away

Walk, walk, walk away,
Ooh just walk away
Walk, walk, walk away
Aye-aye yeah

I really wish I could blame you
But I know that it's no one's fault
(No one) no no no no ooh

A Cinderella with no shoe
And a prince that doesn't know he's lost
(Know he's lost)
This heaviness feels so familiar
Each goodbye with just the same old song
But this time I will not surrender
Cause I'm gone
Oooh yeah!

[ Chorus: ]
Just walk away ooh
And don't look back
Cause if my heart breaks it's gonna
Hurt so bad
You know I'm strong
But I can't take that
Before it's too late
Ooh just walk away

Walk, walk, walk away,
Ooh just walk away
Walk, walk, walk away
(Whoooa)
Just walk away

I've got to let it go
(Ooh)
Start protecting
My heart and soul
Cause I don't think I'll survive
A goodbye again
Not again!

[ Chorus: ]
Just walk away ooh
And don't look back
Cause if my heart breaks it's gonna
Hurt so bad
You know I'm strong
But I can't take that
Before it's too late
(Oooh before it's too late)
Ooh just walk away

(Walk, walk, walk away)
Walk away walk away
Yeeaah
(Walk, walk, walk away)
Walk away walk away
All right!
(Walk, walk walk away, yeah, walk away!)
Walk away walk away
(Oh walk walk walk away)
Walk away walk away

Ooh, ooh♪♫

 And here I am now on a flight back to NY feeling  like I left my heart on Lima, by this time Blaine is probably saying I do , all gorgeous on a tux with a bowtie around hes neck hes hair as perfectly comb as always and giving that smile that melt my heart and soul, to Kurt. Maybe its best that Im leaving instead of just writting about doing it right? My dad's sent me and they are going to make up an excuse about me having an audition which everyone will understand , Blaine wont have time to be upset about me leaving anyway he will be too busy been happy with Kurt and by the time they get to NY I will have moved on or at least that's the plan but been such a working person when Rachel Berry makes a purpose she will go through it and I will. Now its time to finally move and let him be happy, if you love someone you have to want what's best for him and whether I like it or not he's happiness seems to be Kurt, he has barely looked or spoken to me lately which only proves he doesnt need me as I need him , he just needs to be with Kurt. Dear Diary its safe to say this is the end , from now on its me, NYADA, NY, Broadway and whatever life throws my way.