My random book thing

Some stuff

So you know that moment when you don't want to hurt someone but they end up hurting and you think it's your fault even though they say it isn't
That's me right now.
And I'm in my closet right now, trying not to cry
Because hurting people hurts me
Really bad
And even though she said it isn't my fault
I still feel like it is.
I don't know if that's my anxiety getting to me
But
*sighs to calm self down* she's turning emo
God now I feel like I've insulted her.
AND IT HURTS TO INSULT PEOPLE DX
ESPECIALLY HER
I wish I had never gotten depression and made her go through this with me.
Cus it's just hurting me to see her hurt.
It's killing me inside
And I'm already dying inside
Oh shit a tear fell on my phone
Oh god I'm shaking why am I shaking
I'm in a tight space I can't be shaking.
Oooooh god please nooooo
Can I just
Be a cyberman
And not feel feelings
So I don't have to feel like this
Oh god another tear landed on my phone *sighs still randomly shaking*
At least I haven't given in to self abuse yet
I refuse to step down to that level of sadness.
(Update: I guess I've been doing self harm lately cus I've been writing on my arm with a shard of glass)
I don't want to disappoint people
I don't want to hurt people
I just want people to be happy
Brb. Maybe. We'll see.
Ok I'm back
I'm still shaking
I'm still in my closet
I've just turned on the lights and started drawing stuff
Then one of my makers ran out
And it was my only white person skin color
How am I supposed to make little pictures of my friends to give them on their birthdays now
Other than America
She's black
Anyways
Was that
GOD DAMMIT NOT ANOTHER TEAR ON THE PHONE
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUcalm down
Okey
*inhales*
*exhales*
Alright
*sighs*
I might to got bed soon
Even though I don't usually go to bed at like 9 anymore.
But my headphones are coming either tomorrow or Monday
Really hoping they come tomorrow
But knowing my luck and case of life irony
They'll come Monday
Shiiiiiiiiicrap
I'm using my broken headphones to listen to music by holding them at an angle
And keeping the cord there
*sighs for the millionth time*
Ya I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight unipeoples.
Ha I just remembered that XD