Burnt Out

26

"Julian.......he.....he left us.....goodbyes...." Then Wyatt walked over and picked up his note. He started to read it.

"Dear Wyatt, my brother,
Since we were 5 we competed with each other on everything. You became my best friend and I was the happiest kid in the world because for once I found someone who I could escape life with when things got hard. And they got hard a lot. Attached is the football we always used. Become the schools new QB and tell Teddy I said you could throw better than him in your sleep. There's some pictures there, including the one when we won the flag football championship where you threw 2 TDs to me to win the game in the final half.-----" Wyatt continued to read his note thoroughly as it dwelled further on their best times in life. His note too instructed him not to show anyone.

"-----Oh and as far as Alexia goes. You two need to stop being some bitches and just actually own up to loving each other. Don't let her get away bud. Marry her and have like 9 kids. Goodbye Wyatt.

- From, JJ, your blood brother." Wyatt started to smile as tears streamed further down his face and he laid on his bed trying to go back to two days ago when he had his best friend still across from him and they laughed and played video games together. Alexia was next to open her letter. She could barely muster the strength to read its contents.

"Dear Titfuck,
That is still the best nickname next to Fire Crotch, but it would be dumb if I put both up there. Please don't cry. I know you say you're never one for emotion but out of us you cry the most ironically, and if my leaving had meant anything I would assume you're crying. Dry the tears and smile for me kid. You were a best friend to me when I needed it most. No matter what problem, no matter if you didn't care, no matter if it was 2 in e morning you always had time to talk to me. For that, I love you.------" Alexia continued to read her note and actually seemed to crack a smirk in between tears every few moments. Like everyone else's note, hers too instructed that she keep its contents to herself.

"----Stop being such an asshole to Wyatt. I made him leave you. It was my fault so stop blaming him already. He loves you so much and I know you love him too. Promise me you two will try again. I've done enough damage to this world already, I hope that I didn't damage you two beyond repair. Goodbye Alexia.

-Love, Your Fuckface, fuckboy, or any other profound nickname you made up for me, but still simply JJ" For once Alexia's tears had ceased and she sat down on the bed with Wyatt and the two held each other in somber tranquility. The last to open their letter was Blaine.

"Dear, my most favorite gay and black person in the entire world, Blaine,
Holding those two titles is actually quite an accomplishment. You made life worth living for me. Your iconic gleaming white teeth that lured in every other gay guy in the city, made my life so much brighter. Without you I would've been a miserable person. You could make me laugh when no one else could. The shirt is from the time I went to gay pride with you and the group. It was one of the greatest times I ever had, and I was the happiest straight white boy in that whole festival to have someone of your caliber to be there with me.-------" Blaine stood in the door frame facing out the room while he read the rest of the words that littered the note.

"-----this Zack guy looks promising. Maybe try a commitment for once. But who am I to tell you how to live your life. Just live man......just live. Goodbye Blaine

- Love, hopefully your most favorite straight white person, JJ" Blaine stuffed the note into his back pocket and lowered his head and just sighed. Chloe stood in the spot where JJ had spent his last hours and walked over to his bed. She laid down on it and buried her face into his black pillow. It had still held his smell of boys cologne and for one last moment it seemed as if he was there with her, holding onto her and telling her everything would be alright. Well...it wasn't. Nothing was alright in the group of friends world. They had lost one of the pillars that held their foundation together. Blaine walked back into the room and got everyone's attention.

"The um....attractive police officer......says we need...to go claim JJ's body at the morgue...." The whole group slumped together and looked at each other hoping that one of them would have the power to bring JJ back to life. Alexia decided to finally speak.

"I miss him.....I miss his aggravating smartass personality....his stupid smirk.....everything." Then Wyatt hugged her and tried to console her.

"We all do Lexi....we all do..." The group left the dorm at a more than sluggish pace and held onto each other to support each and every one of them from falling apart. They piled into Wyatt's car and all took a painfully silent ride all the way to the police station. They walked to the front desk and Blaine was the one to do the talking for the group.

"We are um.....here to claim a body...."

"Name?"

"JJ Wal-" Just as Blaine started to talk Chloe cut him off.

"Julian James Walker Jr." The officer looked at Chloe and shook his head.

"He came in this morning. I was there when they found him. It's a damn shame you know...." Chloe slammed her hand on the desk and the officer jumped back.

"Don't you ever associate that word with him! Julian was never a shame. Do you understand me? I don't want to hear you ever utter his name in a sentence with that word ever again!" The officer had understood her frustration as he dealt with many cases of disgruntled friends and families in the past. He led the group to morgue. Laying on a cold steel table was a body with a sheet over it.

"Now I'm going to need at least one of you to identify him as the person you claim him to be." The officer pulled back the sheet and Alexia closed her eyes and buried her face into Wyatt's chest. Blaine covered his mouth in horror and Wyatt shook his head as he started to ball his fists again. It was like they had all had to live through the devastation all over again. The body that laid on the table had blonde hair and blue eyes, and a stitches tattoo on its chest over the heart. A few moles on the neck and a few visible cigarette burn scars. What stood out most were the lips that once red had turned a dark blue, almost black. Chloe took a deep breath and spoke up.

"That's....that's Julian...."

"Very well. I truly am sorry for your loss, all of you."

"Mhm. How long.....till we can have a funeral....."

"Two weeks give or take a couple days." Chloe nodded her head at the officer and left the cold dark room. The whole group decided it was time to go home. Wherever home might be without JJ. Wyatt drove to the sorority house and everyone walked back inside as the day approached its end. An end that they had all hoped for. No one said any words to each other, they just took the last belongings left to them by JJ with them to their resting spot. Blaine laid on the couch and wore the shirt, as it was over sized almost perfectly made for sleeping in. Alexia took Wyatt to her room and they both slept in her bed. They needed each other, not for sex or lust, but for comfort. They needed love. Finally Chloe walked to her room with the gifts left to her. She laid on her bed and tried to sleep. Though as hard as she tried, the warmth of sleep eluded her. She tossed and turned and finally gave up. Then she realized she had never gone into JJ's phone to see if there might be anything left for her. Chloe walked over and unwrapped the phone from the blue headphones they were encased in. She entered the passcode and what shown on the screen was a library of music. A playlist JJ left her. The title being:

"I STILL LOVE YOU" In the playlist was every song that Chloe had showed JJ and every song JJ had showed Chloe, along with a whole list of new songs neither of them had the chance to listen to together. Chloe smiled and started to cry all over again. She took the phone and the blue headphones and opened her window. She climbed out onto the roof and laid down with a pillow and blanket. She looked towards the stars and reached for the brightest one just as JJ did. Thinking to herself that just maybe he was one of those stars up there like he had wished for. Chloe plugged in his headphones and pressed shuffle on the playlist. The first song to come up was Cancer by My Chemical Romance. The words softly lulled her to sleep. JJ was still with her, he had never left like he promised her. He would always be there for her just in different ways. And finally Chloe's heart was at rest as the words played in her ears.

"....The hardest part of this is leaving you...."