Damaged » h. styles au

Chapter 27 - Harry

She had never really asked me to stay with her; indeed, she asked me to go away a lot of times, because all of that was my fault. She told me she would be perfectly fine if I hadn’t showed up in her life, but I couldn’t help the smile that kept playing on my lips every time she did that. I didn’t really care about her words, because each day I visited her at her room in the hospital I convinced myself a bit more that I was, indeed, meant to teach her a lot of things. She was such a stubborn girl, and the way she saw the world was unique, not in a good way. Watching her as she talked to Angel, I could see how she had this thought that everything had only one way to be the way they are, and it’s not like she believes anything can change. To her, everything has a pattern to be followed, and that’s not how things work. She has so much to learn.

And so do I. I myself have been hiding from the world for so long, ignoring everything, trying to just move on… I had a lot to get over, and I knew somehow Kirsten was the answer for what I’ve been looking for.

She left the hospital two weeks ago, and I haven’t seen her since then. And yeah, surprisingly – or maybe not – I miss her. I miss being around her. She’s at Lana’s since Tyler did what he did to her, and I haven’t visited Angel because I’ve been busy catching up things with my friends and family.

But now I finally had a weekend all alone, and I couldn’t just stay home by myself. I really missed Kirsten; that was insane. And even knowing it was, indeed, insane, I stopped fighting it back it’s been a while. I do need to get into her life and help her, ‘cause damn, she’s damaged. She needs me, whether she likes it or not, and I’m kind of starting to think I need her too. And that’s why I’ve been here for the latest thirty minutes, sitting on this stupid bench outside where she works. I don’t really wanna go inside, and eventually, she’ll have to come out. And I really doubt she’ll do that using the front door.

I tilt my head to the side when I hear the sound of a door being closed, and I smile when I spot her, walking as if the ground was moving under her feet. She was totally out of balance, reeling from one side to the other, laughing as if there was no tomorrow at someone that was still inside. Once she saw me, though, her face turned into a serious one and she rolled her eyes. Yeah, I was used to that already.

“Hi,” I said, and she puffed, making sure it came out loud enough so I could hear it.

“What are you doing here, curly? I thought I had gotten rid of you long time ago,” she said as she got closer to me, and I felt the hard smell of alcohol emanating from her. Seems like someone is high.

“Yeah, not that easy. I’m stubborn, you know,” I smiled, and she glared daggers at me. She was cute when angry.

Kirsten got quiet, staring at the floor as she hid her hands on the pockets of her jacket, standing right in front of me. I looked at her, curious, but she didn’t peer up to meet my gaze. For a moment I got to think she wasn’t even on this world, but soon she blinked a couple of times and focused on me. She seemed sad, and yet, there was this glimpse of anger in her eyes.

“This is all your fault,” her voice was nothing but a whisper, and I knew she was talking about what had happened to her. That wasn’t the first time she blamed me, and I knew it kind of was my fault. I shouldn’t have gone to her house, but the fact that her boyfriend is a jerk is not something she can blame on me. “I look awful, and it’s your fault,” she raised her voice a bit, and I noticed how she was trembling; a teardrop playing on the corner of her eyes, begging to fall.

“Kirsten…”

“Don’t even try it, Styles. You’re not sorry. You don’t know how it feels. I’m useless and awful; I can’t even walk without feeling the consequences of your act and I know how people from here are done with me not doing my job right. I can’t do a thing right because of you, and doesn’t make me feel better the fact that I look like trash!” This time she wiped the tear away and looked at me as if she could kill me with her gaze.