Letters to friends

To: Laura

Dear lala, 

What can I say? I've known you for about 7 months now? That's a long time ._. It's not the longest friendship I have had. Actually the longest friendship I have had was 7 years I believe? But it doesn't matter. You're more of a best friend to me. I appreciate every day that you continue to be my friend, honestly. You're practically my sister. I don't know where I would be all those months without you. You have made them worth while. 

We both have been through things these months and you know how hard it is for me as I know it's been hard for you. But just always know to stay strong yeah? I'm sorry I'm not the best friend in the world.. I just don't like getting too attached to people... It's like a coping mechanism... So I'm sorry when I get a little upset or a little irritated... I've been having a lot of mood swings lately ._. 

I just want to remind you that you are beautiful and that I love you. You're smart and one day your going to find a guy that loves you as much as anyone loves you. Don't worry too much on how you look and how people see you please? Who the hell cares about how they see you. You're still beautiful to me and that's enough right? One day I hope you see what the world sees and not what you think you precieve in that mirror of yours.

You say you get jealous of me but hun there is nothing to be jealous of me about. Why be jealous when were all meant to be different? Don't try to be like me either.. sometimes I don't even want to be... It's just.. that sometimes you see only what I try to be. Girl, I have to try to be what I am. I had to try all those years to get me to be the person I am. No that doesn't mean I'm fake, just growing. I think that if you continue to grow yourself then you can be anyone you wish yourself to be. It's hard but you got this. :3

I'm glad you wanna help me... I really appreciate it but sometimes you pick the wrong time to ramble to me about how it's going to be okay and yada yada but sometimes I just know all that stuff and tired of talking about it... do you know what I mean? I mean we already talked about this.. but it's just sometimes I don't act like my usual self but is that bad? Is it bad to just want quiet sometimes? To get lost in my own head? The point is that, I'm apologizing for what we have discussed before.. about well the whole annoying thing.. it really depends on my mood.. but tbh I get annoyed, irritated, angry, upset, jealous, etc easily and well I'm just good at hiding it unless I vent it out. So it's more of me than it is you, if that makes sense .-. 

I'm sorry for not giving you quotes every day or several a day.. it's just that.. It's hard work to do that.. you know? especially when your looking for the right quotes to send you. I mean at times I don't mind doing it but when you ask someone to do that for you.. doesn't it lose meaning when it comes from someone? That's just my opinion.. I guess I'm spilling the beans on how I feel in this letter.. sorry :3 

Well I don't mean to hurt your feelings or try to make this a bad letter because this is a letter that I felt I should write... I think that we all deserve good friends in our lives. I hope I've been a good friend even though I know I haven't been one lately... 

I hope later in life that were still good friends. We still have to go to each others weddings lmao Oh it's so bad to plan for the future when you know that may not happen.. and yeah I have my doubts.. it's one of my insecurities when having so much to lose when it comes to anything.. and I know you know my fears :3 haha 

Thank you again lala for being there, for being my friend, for just being you. All the times that we have face-timed, talked on the phone, and texted have not gone to waste. 

I know that even when we fight, argue, annoy each other, irritate each other we will be okay because that's what friends do. They stick it out right? I won't give up on that idea of friendship. To always be friends even through everything... but yeah c: 

I hope this letter didn't suck too bad. ._.

Love, 

Britt