Everything I Never Said

This Is Her Story

January 08, 2016
23:13 (Military time)

This was the last day everyone saw her alive; breathing for that matter. At 23:46, she was found dead inside her room, a knife where her heart was. Blood covered her bed, pale skin even paler now that she was gone however a small smile was graced on her lips as if she was happy. A smile that screamed 'I am finally free', and she was. What made everyone curious was why? Why would she kill herself? She wasn't bullied at school nor was she abused by her family. So what was the reason?

The reason is actually quite simple, she grew tired of living. When she was alive everyone treated her like she never was there until they needed her, you see she was smart; in an average class but smart. Everyone needed her help when it came to group projects or quizzes etc. Especially in English and Science (in general term), where she lives their native tongue isn't English so clearly her classmates needed help since she prefers English more than her native tongue. The catch here was that no one wanted to help her, no one bothered to ask how was her day. When she arrives home stressed out by school almost everyday, her Mum would give out this aura that clearly states 'You don't deserve to be called my daughter.' Which she has learned to live with, though it hurts her both emotionally and mentally. And there will always be favourites and that's where her brother and sister comes to the story. They were always praised by everyone being bookworms and achieving academically while she would just sit there. She grew sad for a while after her best friend left her for good without a single goodbye. She grew sad that day and that sadness further turned into depression. Skipping meals, crying, praying to God to end her life, self-harm and attempts and thoughts of suicide was what she went throught until her untimely slumber. She was a victim of bullying; but not the bullying everyone knows. Oh no no no, she was bullied by her own mind. She tried venting to her relatives but they made fun of her for being suicidal in her ig (Instagram) posts. They though it was funny. But they never thought she would finally do it. With no one to turn to, she starts writing everything on paper. 3 pages. 10 pages. A notebook full. 2 notebooks full. And kept it hidden. Though she met amazing people it didn't quite help the problem. But there was that one day which utterly crushed her.

It was already a few months after their Spiritual Retreat, the school planned out and when the sharing part took place she accidentally spilled half of her dreadful life. One of her classmates repeated the phrase 'I wanted to kill myself' to her in a voice of mockery; since that was one of the things she had said. It ticked her a bit and emotionally hit her hard. Soon enough after that little scenario, one moody teacher started yelling at the class for being slackers and useless. She went on and on and on about how they were better off in the streets since they were stupid and insulted them to which she mentally doubted her future. And the hours before she died, her brother and sister acted like she was the family maid; a mule even. She did the laundry and washed the dishes. When the washing machines and dryer needed to be moved, no one help her but herself. She was forced to carry those heavy things, being insulted by her sister wasn't helping and was only building up more stress. So when everything was done and she could finally sleep, she instead took out the knife under her bed and stabbed herself. And now you know her story, but wait I haven't told you this.

That girl in the story I was talking about was me, Harmoy Summers and that was Everything I Never Said.