Days of Agony [Featured]

Pillow Talk

"There," Bilbo smiled back and proceeded to arrange the blanket around him.

"Thank you," whispered Thorin.

"Don't mention it," said Bilbo, then sat back to draw his breath a little.

Thorin looked like he had also forgotten what had happened between them earlier in the day. It was a relief to see that he was unaffected and that everything was all right. Bilbo felt his body glow slightly with the sweetness of that thought.

"Bilbo," said Thorin, growing more serious, "I can ask Oin to continue giving me my massage if it makes you uncomfortable."

Bilbo lost the lustre of his smile. It seemed that Thorin had not forgotten at all. "No, Thorin," he said, "I was just being silly. It doesn't make me uncomfortable."

"Silly?" repeated Thorin. "No, I do not think you were being silly. I think you were afraid. I made you afraid. I am sorry, but I was taken by surprise."

Bilbo felt like something heavy was crushing him. "No, Thorin, don't apologize," he said, although he really did not want to talk about it. "I was taken by surprise myself. I just... I don't want to cause you even more pain."

Thorin smiled again. "You could never do that."

The deeply warm tone of his voice dispelled the returning shadow from Bilbo's mind. He felt relieved again, and even a little flattered. He also remembered his earlier visit with the ever-cheerful Fili and Kili and the little glimpse into Thorin's past experience with being confined to his bed. "Can I say something?"

"Anything."

"I honestly expected you to be a more difficult patient."

Thorin burst into actual laughter that caused him to wince in pain. "It helps to have distractions," he said.

Bilbo lowered his gaze, trying to hide the flowering of too much red in his cheeks.

"I suppose I am tired of fighting," said Thorin, more seriously.

Bilbo looked up. He certainly understood how Thorin could have got tired of fighting, but he couldn't help a tinge of sweet melancholy at the thought that, for him, the fight was not over at all. It was something that he was going to have to get used to. "Well, would you like some supper?" he asked.

Thorin pondered his answer for a while. "I am not that hungry," he refused, eventually.

"Me neither," said Bilbo. "I suppose I'll just change for bed then."

Thorin approved with a brimming of warmth in his eyes that would have made Bilbo blush again if he had stayed longer in his presence. Instead, he excused himself and went to the bathroom to wash up and change into the night clothes that he had borrowed from the tall chest of drawers residing in the corner of Thorin's bedroom. He still didn't know how to feel about sleeping with Thorin in his bed. There was much more going on than simply keeping him company. He would have had to be blind and stupid not to see that, and he had never been either, much less now after all he had experienced. It unnerved him constantly. There was a permanent flutter in his heart, barely perceptible but definitely there, like a tired butterfly was batting its wings to get out of it. On the other hand, he really could not conceive of leaving Thorin alone for the night and sleeping elsewhere. There was also something infinitely comforting and safe about knowing that he was with him, and there was even something pleasurable about that little butterfly in his heart that didn't truly want to get out. It made him feel twice as much alive.

He returned to the bedroom and found Thorin still awake. He lay down at his side and made himself comfortable. They gazed at each other for a while, and Bilbo mused that he usually felt awkward staring at someone without saying anything. He did not feel awkward staring wordlessly at Thorin and having Thorin stare wordlessly back at him. He felt that they were speaking to each other anyway.