One of my old journal entries

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"Suicide... It's not the word itself, it's the meaning, the memory behind it. I'm not scared of death, I'll embrace it with a welcoming arms... People are scare of the word because it means to kill one's self. They have so much power, so much control... And it scares them... They are afraid of death, but to me it's a warm welcome. It's an option for when everything else falls apart. When everything else fails... I'm running out of options, and that one is waiting, ever so patiently.

I build up walls, walls that keep me safe. Hide me from the world, hide me from the people who will just leave me burning...

Is death so bad? I remember my mom called suicide selfish... How is it selfish? I think it's MUCH more selfish the way people treat us! I think it's much more selfish the way people don't even care, don't you DARE say suicide is selfish!!! it's not... its for brave people who have been strong for far too long."

-twelve year old me


Wow, man... I was rereading all my old journal entries, and I've been thinking... I really haven't changed much... I mean, I don't necessarily take my own life anymore... But if a ten ton truck was coming at me, I wouldn't move ether...


WBM 



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