Effervescence

~~~THREE~~~

2:56 am. I looked my phone and proceeded to aimlessly look up at my ceiling. I was engulfed by complete darkness, I was tired from crying so hard. I wasn't ready for all of this to happen, and honestly I wasn't sure what was happening. Ryan had shattered my phone completely, so I planned to call the Apple store and ask them about fixing my screen. My phone pushes out a loud ding, it was Sarah. She told me that the neighbors called her telling her that Ryan was screaming at me and that they couldn't make out what he was yelling at me for, I told her everything was fine just the usual and that I would text her later. Honestly it wasn't weird for her to be up at three o'clock in the morning, it was kind of weird if she wasn't.

I practically fell out of bed. My knees were weak and my arms felt like jello. I dragged myself into the bathroom and turned on the vanity light. I looked at my red blotchy skin and just glared at myself with disgust. This is pathetic I thought, why do I even let him do this to me. I peered at my messy long blonde hair. It's usually pin straight, yet at the moment it was entangled with knots and small waves. My blue eyes seemed faded, usually they seemed to be as blue as the Caribbean. I looked down and watched my hands move, turning the faucet on cold, I cupped the water and splashed myself handful after handful. I patted my face dry with a towel and felt somewhat better. I walked over to my bed and fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~9:40AM~~~~~~~~~~

My phone went off and it woke me up almost instantly. It was right next to my head and on the loudest volume setting.. Great it was probably somebody I didn't want to talk to. I slumped onto my bed and slowly picked up my phone and softly clicked the power button. It was from an unknown number... Who'd I give my number to? I unlocked my phone and realized it was the barista:

(OVER TEXT)

Barista Guy: Hey, are you busy this Thursday??

Kiersten: No, where will we be going?

B: Ummm I don't know... Your choice I guess...

K: How about Olive Garden?

B: Sure why not

K: Oh um.. Whats your name anyways

B: Haha sorry, it's Jase

K: Oh haha okayy well what time on Thursday?

Jase: I don't know say... 8?

K: Okay will do

I put my phone back and lay back on my bed with a smile on my face. It's soon peeled off then I remember that there's something really big standing in the way of this... Ryan. Honestly I didn't want to be with him anyways... But I didn't want to break up with him either, I've heard some things hes done to his exs and well, they weren't that great. If you thought what he did to me was bad then you don't to hear the rumors. Now that I think about him, what would he do if he found out I went on a date with this kid... He would probably kill both of us, I don't want to die. How am I going to tell his kid that I have a boyfriend... How is that even going to work? How is he going to take all of this? I'm pretty sure he already knows I have an interest for him, I feel like he would pissed. Ugh I'm such a horrible person.

I pick up my phone and call Sarah

K: Hey think you could come over for a bit? We gotta talk about somethings, and by some I mean a lot

S: Yeah I'll be over in 20

~End Call~

I take a deep breath and swing open my French doors making me feel like the queen I am. Literally I have a tiara so.... Fight me. I walk over to my couch sit down and click on the TV, I haven't actually relaxed in a while, I've been so busy with work and friends and life I really didn't have time to. I put it on Animal Planet, the usual, when I have the time of course. I wasn't really paying attention. The voices were muffled and the tv was blurred. I was too busy thinking about all these choices I had to make. Why was I putting myself through this? I don't have to do this, I could end everything with Ryan and try for Jase, yet what would happen to me if I did break up with Ryan for Jase? I feel like we would both get hurt, physically. I didn't want to inflict that on Jase or I... Plus I barely even know Jase so how would I know that it would work out completely? Maybe I would just stay with Ryan until I figured out what would happen, or how everything would go down. Yet why would Ryan change his ways? Especially for me