Candace -
I was laying down watching the Real when Marcus finally walked in with my donuts. "Baby what took you so long," I pouted. "Don't start Candy, here go you're donuts I got the pickles and chips too," he replied. I took the box of donuts and he laughed. "Don't laugh at me, I'm pregnant," I laughed.
"Yeah I see," he laughed as he went into the kitchen. "Baby what we having for dinner?" I asked as I bit into my donuts. "Baby you eating donuts and you worried about dinner already?" He laughed as he plopped down on the couch.
"Shut up," I said as I gave him an evil look. He grabbed the remote and I growled at him."did you just growl at me though?" He laughed. "Yes don't change my channel," I said. "Come on baby you be watching life time and hall mark like all damn day," he laughed.
"Marcus, I'm so serious with you right now you better not change my channel," I laughed. "Man fine," he frowned as he put the remote back down. I reached for another donut as MJ came into the living room.
"Mom, can I watch SpongeBob?" He asked. "Of course baby here go the remote," I said. "Nigga," Marcus said as he gave me the side eye. I laughed as I gave MJ the remote. I couldn't help but laugh as Marcus got up and stormed out.
"What's wrong with dad?" MJ laughed. "He on his monthly," I joked. "I heard that shit Candace!" he yelled. I laughed and pulled the covers over me.
"Mom can I have a donut?" MJ asked. "Of course baby get one," I said. MJ smiled and grabbed a donut out of the box. I smiled as he laid back on me. I wrapped my arm around him and he cuddled more into me.
Marcus came back down and sat on the other side. He took a donut and laid his head on my shoulder. It felt good to have my boys next to me.
"Y'all want Chinese for dinner?" Marcus asked as he pulled out his phone. "Yea," I said. He ordered the food as I grabbed the remote. I changed to the lifetime channel once SpongeBob went off.
We watched TV until the food finally came. We ate dinner and then I went upstairs and got under the covers. I reached on my night stand and grabbed my bible and my notebook.
All week for some reason my spirit had been leading me to the book of Psalms. I had talked to my mother about my concerns for MJ and she gave me several scriptures to read. As a woman, my number on goal was is to have a good relationship with God. I wanted to be full of wisdom just like my mother.
I grabbed my notebook and began writing prayers for MJ and for Marcus as well. I prayed that God would grant MJ peace. I prayed that he would no longer blame himself for his mothers unfortunate passing. He was trying to protect her, it wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to properly aim a gun.
Then I prayed for Marcus, that he would be the man that God wanted him to be. That he would walk by faith, and when times get hard he would fall down on his knees and ask God for mercy, and for guidance. One thing I always vowed was that my husband had to be spiritually connected to God, in order for us too work. So I'm praying that Marcus will build on his relationship with God.
After I said my prayers, I went back to studying and reading my scriptures. I was so into my word that I didn't even notice that Marcus had came and got in bed next to me.
"What you doing baby?" He asked as he kissed my neck. "Studying my word, I wish we could do it together," I said as I closed my notebook.
"Yeah, I don't be having the time," he said as he rubbed his temples. "Well if you want us to have a good marriage you have to work on that, and I'm willing to help you with that," I said.
"You already know I want us to have a good marriage, I'm willing to work on it, I wouldn't mind us studying together, going to church more, maybe we could get MJ more involved," he said.
"Yeah I was already going to take him to Sunday school on Sunday with me, I'm praying for him because I'm very concerned about him. He's been quiet lately, earlier was the first time he has enter acted with me. Normally he comes in from school and goes into his room and doesn't come out until dinner, and then he goes back in his room," I said.
"Yeah, well he came down to my office the other day in helped me clean up, we talked a little bit, but I've been seeing some changes in him too, I just think that we should continue to be involved in what he's doing and be there for him when he needs us, I know he starts football practice tomorrow, I wanna go and see what he's got, I wanna be involved for everything you know to make up for when I wasn't there. I wished I was there for the day he was born, Grace's mother sent me three boxes from Grace's apartment. I haven't found the time to look through them all, I skimped through one box and saw his birth certificate and a few of his baby pictures. I just I really wished I was there to protect you guys. I wished she was still here you for MJ. I know he misses her, and when the baby gets here I'm gone have that talk with him, I don't want him to feel like he has to fight for your love or attention, or mines," he said as he rubbed his chin.
"Yeah I feel the same way, you already know I'll be at every game in the bleachers yelling That's my baby," I said as we both laughed.
"Yeah," he replied. "And don't beat yourself up baby, you wasn't there. You didn't know it was going to happen, I didn't know it was going to happen, but I do know that if you did you would of been right there protecting me, we can't dwell in the past any more babe, all we can is Move forward. I just want you to know that I love you so much, I want us to grow strong as a couple, I want our love to be everlasting, I don't want no one to ever think they can break us up," I said as I kissed his lips.
"I knew the day I first saw you at the park, I knew you was gone the one, you have become my Bestfriend, my rock, my partner in crime, and I'll do whatever to keep you happy, I love how you accept me and my son, our son. I love it, I love you, and your genuine heart, I would never trade you in, I'll do my best to be selfless, and listen to you when you speak, I'll put your wants and needs first always I love you so much Candace," he said as he stared into my eyes.
"I love you more, and I can't wait to start our journey as husband and wife," I said as I kissed his forehead. "I'm about to go to sleep okay baby," he said. "Okay sweetheart I'm going to bed too," I replied
"K, love you," He replied. I turned off the lights and I smiled as I felt Marcus wrap his arms around my waist. I cuddled more into him and drifted off to sleep.
