Return Of The Shadow

Chapter 26: I Do Understand

Aragorn stopped. Tears ran down his face and his hands were clasped tightly into fists. His breathing was heavy. Legolas's face remained emotionless. Then quietly, his voice barely rising above the small breeze that was blowing he said, "But I do."

Aragorn looked at him in surprise. Legolas's expression never changed. He just stared at him with sad, grey eyes.

"I was in love once." Legolas continued.
"For years I had loved her, but I had always been too afraid to tell her how I felt. I thought she would not love me back. One day, there was a battle and we both were there. The night before, I finally told her how I felt. And I asked if she felt the same, she said she did."

Legolas turned his gaze towards Lorien. The wind gently blew his hair behind him.

"During the battle we were separated from the others. We were cornered by orcs. They separated us, I tried to get to her but it was too late. She was dead when I found her."

Legolas turned back to Aragorn. His gaze held grief and sorrow.

"I had loved her for years but I had never known true love until I knew that she loved me back. I got to feel what love really was for one day and then it was gone. Elves only love once Aragorn, and as long as live I will never feel that kind of love again."

Aragorn couldn't believe what he was hearing. Why hadn't Legolas told him this before? If he had known...

"That is why you cannot ignore your son. My father pushed me away after my mother died. It left me bitter and it broke him as well. I had always thought that he did not care for me, when his only fault was loving me too much, he was so afraid of losing me that he could not bear to get close to me. Because he thought that if he did I would be taken from him, just like my mother."

"It is exactly what you fear Aragorn. You are afraid of losing your son because he is all you have left. You cannot risk having your heart broken again but listen to me, you have to be there for him. My father never was, and the one time he was trying to protect me, and protect the one I loved, I turned my back on him."

Legolas looked Aragorn in the eye. To Aragorn he looked older, much older than he was. He had seen things that elves twice his age could not even imagine. He had been a prisoner of Sauron, he had loved, lost it, and now he was the last elf in Middle Earth, he seemed out of place amongst the others. He was lost.

"If I could go back, I would have listened to him. It is too late for me to make peace with my father, but you do not have to repeat his mistake, and Eldarion should not have to live out mine."

Both were silent. Legolas' words repeated themselves over and over again in Aragorn's mind.

"Please Aragorn, think about what I said. Your son needs you, and so do all your people. You are still Isildur's heir. And the rightful king of Gondor."

"Gondor is gone Legolas. There is nothing left in Middle Earth for anyone. What do we have left Legolas? What are we fighting for?"

Legolas never broke his gaze.

"Hope."

Aragorn looked at his friend.

Hope

That word, that one small word, it held so much power in it.

"That is why the people continue to fight Aragorn. It is why they follow you. They believe in hope Aragorn, they believe in you. You give them hope. You are hope."

Legolas sighed.

"Ever since I learned your true identity I believed in you. I knew that someday you would rise against Sauron, you would defeat him. I believed it then and I still have not stopped."

Legolas placed a hand firmly on Aragorn's shoulder.

"I will follow you to Mordor Aragorn, and so will the others. We will fight with you even if it means we go to our deaths. We will not turn back."

Aragorn looked at him desperately.

"I cannot ask them to do that."
"You do not have to."

Legolas took his hand off his shoulder. The two stood in silence. Legolas turned to what remained of Lorien and said, "I need to go there."

"Go where?" Aragorn asked.
"My home. I have to see it."
"Legolas..."
"Aragorn please."

Aragorn sighed. He understood why Legolas wanted to go there. Legolas was still grieving for the loss of his people. He needed to go there and let go of his grief as Aragorn had done in Rivendell.

"We'll go tomorrow."

Legolas looked at his friend gratefully.

"Hannon le, mellon nin."

Aragorn nodded.

The two friends returned into the mountain. Aragorn thought about everything Legolas had told him. He thought about what he had said about himself and his father, how he didn't want Aragorn to do the same thing with Eldarion.

Aragorn left Legolas in his room while he went down to where the children were. He entered and searched for his son.

He found him in the back, alone.

"Eldarion."

He looked up, Aragorn immediately saw Eowyn in his gaze. Pain gripped his heart but he cast it aside.

"Father?" Eldarion stood up. His eyes bright.
"I need to speak with you Eldarion."

Aragorn knelt down in front of him. He placed his hands on his son's shoulders.

"Eldarion, you must forgive me. I should have told you before..."
"What is it father?" Aragorn couldn't bring himself to meet his son's eyes. He forced himself to look into them.

"Your mother, she is dead."

Eldarion's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Aragorn shook his head, tears falling down his face.

"She's gone Eldarion, and she's not coming back."

Several emotions went passed Eldarion's face. Confusion, anger, sorrow, and grief.

Tears began to fall down Eldarion's face. Aragorn pulled his son into his arms. He held him tightly and listened to his quiet sobs.

Was this what it had been like for Legolas? Had he understood what it had meant when he learned that his mother was dead?

Aragorn wrapped his arms tighter around his son.

I promise Eldarion, I promise I will not lose you too.

Unknown to them both, Legolas watched quietly from behind. He turned and walked away without a word.