Doll (MikaYuu)

♦35♦ - Entrust

I also noticed his entire face was really red. Even in the setting sun, which glowed an autumn glow of warm pink into the room, I could see he was redder than red. I laid down next to him in the sheeted warmth, swept the hair out of his face. He was huddled under the blankets while I was still laying on top of them. Maybe he was fully naked...

He looked off, his eyelids thick with sleep. I poked at his cheeks which made him slightly squirm.

"Why don't you just go back to sleep?" I softly asked him. He bashfully hid his face at the suggestion.

"It was difficult to fall asleep the first time. I do not want to." He sighed, rolling on his back. His collarbones looked so soft in the glow, along with his features which also looked prominent than ever. I couldn't shake the question as to was he completely naked... He smelled sweet - must've showered.

I was like Sherlock.

"Tell me about it," I encouraged. There he went again with covering his face with the sheets. I grinned, sliding them off.

"I felt weird," he trembled, rolling into me. His face was merged in with my sweater. I stroked his hair with furrowed eyebrows, wondering why this reminded me so much of a parent-child situation. Tell me what you mean, Jimmy. "Do you ever feel weird after-" he covered his head with the sheet for the umpteenth time.

I tried not to laugh. "Was it after the couch?"

He nodded, his innocent eyes gazing up at me as if he were afraid of my response. "It was..."

I felt nervous for a moment, sitting up as a grim feeling of guilt began to hurt in my core. "Did... Did you not want to do it?" Just at the words that feeling of remorse was surging through me. I covered my face with my hands; my blood felt on fire. Shit, shit, shit... Please don't tell me I did what I think. "That was way too soon... It was it had to be."

"No!" he quickly interjected, sitting up and removing my hands from my face. "No, it was the fact that I actually wanted more after it was over." I side-eyed him cautiously. He looked down at himself in disbelief, as if the words leaving him were in a completely different language. "Like... I wanted round twos and threes... And..." I could tell by my stare at him that I was not giving him the reaction he wanted. I didn't mean it, but it was too late. "I felt so dirty... After it, I'm so used to loathing the feeling, but I wanted more of it after it was over. Or maybe I just wanted the idea of it - I don't know..."

He was twisted in his words. It was kind of adorable but I was stressing to know what he meant. He plopped his head against my chest and gripped onto my sleeves.

He sighed, "Please tell me I am getting better... I want to feel how you feel..." I could tell he was going to erupt in confusion. I was already holding him in consolation as he continued his dramatical rhetorics. "Do you want to have sex with me all of the time? Or is it only when you want? ...How do you feel after? I just do not... Fathom it."

"Mika..." I was fighting laughs. How should I handle it? I was connected with him on such a bond that every single time he was even reminded of the topic with fresh memories of the nights that it pinged a part of me. I cared. I held his face, his eyes studying me. "Just relax; it'll come to you. Gosh, Mika when you like sex, it makes you an idiot." That earned a laugh of relief. I could still see the fervidity in his eyes. "Just don't think about it. If you need to show me how you feel..."

His eyes trailed down to my lips, yet he was hesitant. I let go of his face, let him do what he wanted. I wanted him in control and wanted him to move at his own paces. When he mounted my lap, I finally discovered he was clothed below the waist the whole time in soft sweatpants. He pulled my attention to him though, cupping my face and made sure I was looking at nothing else but his eyes.