Mark Antony and the Quest for Zest

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It was a warm Winter day, that cool summer morning.  I had just finished finished interrogating Stella, my neighbor, as to the whereabouts of her brother's frisbee disc.  That Stella, she had hair like that if you were to leave a piece of caramel on a weather-treated oak bench for too long, and then it melted into a strange sticky puddle that you wouldn't even noticed until you sat upon.  That, is who Stella is; a hot mess just waiting to cause trouble in all the most dangerous ways.  When all of a sudden I felt an urge, not unlike one I had the day before, and the day before that.  A dangerous, lustful craving that gets the best of even the greatest detectives. A want that even Shi Huangdi would surrender China and all of it's Chinese for, just for a small taste of the wanted want in question. I needed a midmorning snack to quench my suffering from the scorching, blazing, destroying gas giant we call the Sun, but not just any snack- I needed an item that solves hunger, yet at the same time gives me the energy and power to continue my mission to find Tomathy's frisbee. I needed... frozen dairy.

I had hurried out of Stella's house like a gazelle fleeing at the speed of an antelope running from a ravenous cheetah. I am that cheetah. I entered my suburban home in the suburbs, and dashed towards the most fridged object in my house- my Aunt Maureen. She had eyes like fiery ice, piercing anything and everything she glared at, and her nails were so sharp that she could slice the air with a single lift of her finger. I knew this would be one of my most dangerous tasks I've ever been tasked with. With a few deep breaths and a breastful of courage, I went in for the questioning.  I asked her if there was any icey cream left in the freezer, and she responded with a smug and dark command to examine the refrigerator if I truly wanted sustenance, and like a muddy dog on the furniture, I quickly exited with my tail between my legs.

Upon reaching the cold-maker in question, I prepared myself for the worst; every time Aunt Maureen and her family visits, she always ensures to make the most challenging challenges to consume at supper. I braced myself and grabbed the stainless steel handle, and pulled without holding anything back. Unfortunately for me... the freezer did, and I fell harder than a rock jammed between two rocks in a rocky canyon with an avalanche of rocks rocking the whole area with rocks. Recovering quickly, as all ace detectives do, I immediately surveyed the cryogenic container, finding nothing but frozen tater tots, waffles, and collard greens. Defeated, I slumped into a chair and heard my aunt snickering behind me with a partially knitted scarf covering her grotesque crimson mouth. It was then that I knew what I had to do, I had to go on a quest, but not just any quest- a quest for zest! I must traverse the dangerous, crime-filled streets until I get to the bottom of this mystery. I must clean up the streets, find out what happened to the moose tracks ice cream, but most of all, I shall have my midmorning snack and find the frisbee!

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 26, 2013 ⏰

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