"She seems so unaffected
As if nothing happened
She carries on like normal, when I see her at least
But lately it seems like she's purposely avoiding me."
"Am I being desperate?
In very aware it's over but I can't stop myself
I need her beside me
And it hurts when she's away
No matter what I just want her presence. Even if she doesn't say a word."
"Our schedules have both been busy
It was always like that, but that time away from each other just fueled our passion whenever we reunited."
"But how is it that now, everything has to be different?"
" ...If I tell you that, will you disappear completely?
I want to hold you, I want to remember your wonderful warmth.
I want you to look at me like you did back then, with admiration and affection
I want to experience you again."
"Did you really think that I could so easily let go of our past?
What we had was beautiful..."
"Or... were they perhaps Meaningless?"
"You, my dear are a strong, intelligent, independent woman.
This whole world could be yours if you wanted it.
...but I can't help but feel like I was ever a good part of that world."
"I was dependent, and reliant.
I needed someone by my side, someone good.
You gave me your affection, and I was so happy when you did, but you could tell me if I mistreated it.
At times I feel like I took you for granted.
So many times I couldn't help but wonder if I was giving you everything you needed."
"I gave you all I had... really..."
"...I Assumed that what I was giving you would be enough. I Guessed that you would be happy with someone so small as myself. It was all just a bet that I could make you happy."
"I don't remember... did I ever ask?"
"But I think I see now what I did wrong..."
"...I was in a bad spot, and I ended up falling for you because I needed someone.
Coincidently you came along... and... you reminded me of an angel.
Kind, spirited, wise, open... You made my heart race..."
"...you wouldn't leave my mind for a minute."
"It was torture trying to keep it in...
But whenever I considered confessing, there was always the terrifying thought of what could go wrong.
Even after confessing, I was always scared."
"But in the end, every moment I had with you was worth the terrifying times."
"Because no matter how terrified I was, I still felt so secure and happy with you.
I felt like I belonged somewhere.
I felt like someone Actually wanted me around.
I didn't... want to leave this world anymore..."
Will I ever actually tell you this?
Who knows.
