Hurt (A book of poems)

Poem 1: I never told her

xXDamagedAngelXx here, so hi guys, this is literally my first poem I've ever let anyone else read, I turned to poetry as a better way of releasing pain in my life, so I hope you guys enjoy, please leave feedback, tips, notes, anything that you would suggest, thank you guys so much! :) <3

"Hold me for forever" She'd say whispering softly.

Every time I left her to go home she stared sadly.

"Don't Worry. I'll be back." I promised her every time.

She always held me as if letting go was a crime.

She knew I saw the girl with the pretty blue eyes.

I only denied her and said they were all lies.

She'd stare sadly with a sad smile and say, "She's better."

She hated herself, and I never tried not to let her.

She told me one night I saved her life.

I didn't know she almost used the knife.

She never would tell me when she was hurting.

I never knew the pain I was constantly bringing.

She knew she wasn't my only lover.

But I knew for her, there was no other.

She always said, "Would you cry if I died?"

The day she did, I remember the tears I cried.

I was in bed with another the day she killed herself.

I got the call and with an instant I blamed myself.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the car.

I sat in there and stared, she was now so far.

I got out and screamed, "Why'd you have to go."

I fell to the ground, and whispered, "Oh no."

I never saw the love we shared.

But now it was too late to care.

I ran upstairs to my room, not able to breathe or think.

I saw her necklace on my bed, and to the floor I began to sink.

She was the one who had always held my heart.

But now forever, was being spent apart.

I sat quietly in a corner, regret filled me inside out.

My heart longed for her that wasn't a doubt.

All I wanted to hear was her soft whispers to fill my ear.

I never returned her love she gave me for the past year.

I got her suicide note a couple days after she was died.

I read with hurt in my heart, and many tears I cried.

She wrote, "I'm going to use this blade for you."

The fact she self harmed, I never knew.

"You never even loved me, but you were my everything."

After reading that I wanted her more than anything.

I really did love her, a love so strong.

But I always continued to do her wrong.

I never did tell her I loved her just as much.

I should have whispered my love with every touch.

Now I live with all the pain, regrets and sorrow.

Only in the hopes I won't have to face tomorrow.

I sit alone in my room, holding her picture so close.

She was the one that I would I always miss the most.

I always think what I would do if I saw her today,

I knew the answer from the start, I'd never let her slip away.   

XXXXXXX

Guys I am so nervous to share this, so please leave criticism, rates, tips, anything you guys have to say! <3 :)