texting » larry [discontinued]

35%

"you've reached harry! sorry i couldn't answer your call, please leave a message after the beep thing or don't you don't have to but please and thank you!"

beep

"you sound so cute in your voicemail ha. i miss your voice... i miss our late night phone calls, now you don't even text me back. why harold? can't you see i'm trying really hard? it's been two weeks and a half since you've texted back and we're now in 2016. time moves fast doesn't it? I've been drinking so much lately and coming home late. i know my mom is disappointed in me. i disappoint myself. you seem so much better off without me. have you moved on because i haven't, as you can tell since i bombard you with texts and phone calls. i know you haven't blocked me since my texts go thru and so do my calls. if you haven't blocked me why won't you answer harry? i need to hear your voice directed at me. as much as i love hearing your voicemail it gets a bit tiring doesn't it? same thing all over again. as much as i hate to say this i also miss your stupid, dumb jokes. 'm not saying they're good, just miss 'em is all. fuck it's cold outside! oh yeah, i know it's three in the morning but i'm too drunk to go home so i been walking around the city... wish you were here... i don't know where i'm going with this actually. i just wanna get back together. god it hurts knowing you're probably with someone else. you're probably doing the things i've wanted to do with you with them. that fucks me over because i know i couldn't give you all of me because of this fucking distance. god it fucking hurts trying to be okay without you being mine. no matter how hard i try to let you go, i see your photo or reread our texts and i'm back at square one. i'm so up your ass harry, it's literally disgusting. i obsess over you all the time, not a single day goes by when you're not on my mind - my mind is literally 'harryharryharryharry'. told you it's crazy. shit i fucked up didn't i? i had you - the person who made me the happiest - and i lost you. all because i fucked up. ugh! ow, shit, fuck i'm bleeding! see what i do when i'm drunk and reminiscing the past? i punched a brick wall and now i'm bleeding. i'm in pain but i deserve it for everything i did to you. i'm going to the park now, it's not safe in the city late at night by myself... i dreamt of us walking together, hand-in-hand, around doncaster. just showing you off. showing everyone you're mine. i can't believe i bailed out going to your house. everything would've been much better. and i would've got to kiss those red lips. i could've hugged you and cuddle. damn we could've fucked too! damn baby i fucking miss you! what have you done to me. i never felt so strong about someone... maybe you're the one that got away.
harry tomlinson. louis styles. which one sounds better? i like harry tomlinson. you should take my last name when we get married. i just gotta get you to talk back to me.
harry before you, i hated myself a bit, i was in a dump. but you made me feel i was worth something and you treated me in a manner that no one else has - with love and care. you slowly guided me away from my bad habits. my painful memories were replaced with happier ones that i shared with you, even tho all of them were over facetime, phone calls, and texts. i started believing that you were the key to my happiness - an emotion i never felt before and truly experienced with you. but then you left, and even though i know it's my fault, i'm back where i started. i'm broken again. i was never ready for you to leave me, thought I would have you in the palm of my hand, now you're gone. and i want you back. i want you back. iwantyoubackiwantyouback. fuck i just want you back! and people always tell me 'if it's meant to be it will be. in the end those who are meant to stay will and those meant to leave will leave.' and right now it looks like you're meant to leave but i'm willing to fight it. i'm trying to fight to get you back! and i'm gonna win - i hope. i'm afraid to let you go because once i do i know that's it. when i give up i don't fight for it anymore. i give it up. but i still want - need - you harry. this is a long voicemail and it's now four in the morning i'm sitting on a bench at the park and it's so cold my balls might freeze off... but i'm so tired so i'm gonna fall asleep here. hopefully i die of hypothermia so i don't have to go on with so much pain... i love you harry. goodbye."

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i wrote this while listening to someone new by banks and i cries ),:

but poor lou :-(

ps my ex (same ex i mentioned in chapter 21 lol) called me while i was writing this :-/ he only calls me after he breaks up with a girl and tells me he wants to get back but never does bc he found some other chick (i fall for it but end up getting heartbroken every single damn time)