Within These Walls

Chapter 6

He glares at me. I sigh and think to myself that he's taking his job way too seriously.

When I get back to my table, Willow and Carson are with a group gathered on the stairs. They've done all the tables except Marcus's. He hasn't acknowledged them since Willow spoke with him. He hasn't looked my way either.

A small group of kids squeezes past my table. One of them cracks a joke—something about how the stalls in the shower room will get a lot of action unless our kidnappers set some boundaries—and a girl giggles. They disappear to the other side of the cafeteria.

I've seen this scene whenever the new school year starts. Strangers meeting and hitting it off, establishing the beginnings of new friendships. I've always wondered if I lack this openness because Sam never gave me a chance to be normal or because something innate in me simply fumbles and fails to connect with people.

It's worse in this place. I'm used to being on the outside looking in, but at least I had something to keep me busy. I got straight A's. Stayed out of trouble. Went jogging or took a trip to the local gym, as per Sam's instructions. Fixed dinner for him in the evening and kept my head buried in a textbook until he flipped off the news and trudged up the stairs to bed.

If things went well, which usually meant Sam was too busy to bother with me, I would have the freedom to go to the park: ride on bike trails or soak in the sun while taking in the scenic view of mountains and river. Now I don't have that view or exercise to keep me busy, and the feeling of being directionless is like a worm crawling through my veins.

"Bad thoughts?"

I tense and look up at Alec. He gives me a smile. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," I snap, then press my lips together. He's just making polite talk. I doubt he really thinks I'm scared of him. Don't get upset over stupid crap.

Alec gestures to a plastic bowl and a cup he placed on the table. He pushes the bowl my way. "I saw you trying to get into the kitchen. Figured you were hungry."

"You didn't have to do that," I say, both touched and disconcerted.

"Don't thank me just yet," he replies. "Maybe I'm using you to make sure those dumbasses in the kitchen didn't poison us by accident."

I look down at the mess of white, clumpy rice, slimy chicken cubes, and what looks like mashed broccoli and carrot. I pick up the plastic fork and take a tentative bite of the rice. My mouth twists into a grimace. "I don't know how something can be bland and spicy at the same time."

Alec's green eyes twinkle when he laughs. They're a deep shade of green, like malachite. People always seem unnerved by my eyes. I'd bet his unnerve people, too. Only instead of giving them the creeps, they probably can't stop staring into them.

I look down and busy myself with another bite.

"Willow says you don't want to join us," he says.

"My mom always warned me about gangs."

He leans back and grins again. "Don't let them scare you off. They're trying to look tough so no one will know they're all pissing their pants. Even Marcus."

"Why did he ask me to join his gang? I would think it's the last place he'd want me."

"I asked him to."

"Why?"

"Marcus gathered all the meatheads together. I wanted someone different." Alec shrugs. "You seem like a good choice. Something tells me you'll be fun to have around."