Dark Places(G-Dragon imagine)

Dark Places

type: fluff but like, sad fluff?

idol: Kwon Ji Yong

warning: anxiety, depression, explicit language

word count: 1896

The snow was falling from the sky unstoppably and your coat was dripping wet but you didn't even notice. You were walking with your hands deep in your pockets, eyes glued to the ground and your steps seemed somewhat rushed. Everything around you was covered by a thin layer of snow, creating magical and a little Harry Potter-like atmosphere. And yet you didn't care. Tears were streaming down your freezing face, blurring your vision. You didn't bother to wipe them off since they weren't about to stop. Usually you would've enjoyed a day like this – you loved winter and especially snowy days but today was no ordinary day.

---Flashback---

You heard the clock ticking. It was so quiet that normally you wouldn't even notice it but your anxiety made you extremely sensitive. Every minute, every second felt like an hour. Your legs were crossed so you wouldn't shake but there was no way to hide your trembling hands. You tried to wipe the sweat off of your palms but they would just get sweaty again so eventually you just gave up. The breath was unsteady, you were either breathing way deeper than you normally do or taking breaths so short that you would start to suffocate.

There were other people in that room and from time to time they would throw sympathetic yet full of pity looks at you, probably thinking of you as of some poor freakish girl who should spend some time in mental ward before coming to places like this. To get herself together, you know. Being the way she is now, there's no chance she could ever achieve anything in life as an adult. Does she even live as an adult? No, no, someone must be constantly watching over her, right? You can't let a kid like herself live on her own, she might do something to herself... That's what they were thinking, probably.

You tried to concentrate on one thought, on something positive but your thoughts were all over the place. You worried about those people and their thoughts about you, you worried about things that were to happen in 15 minutes, you worried about your own sanity. You worried about everything and nothing. There were so many reasons why you were stressed but if someone would've asked you why you're so nervous you wouldn't have been able to tell. Anxiety is not something that can be explained, you knew that better than most of the people who have only been dealing with rational stress in their lives.

After what felt like eternity, you finally heard a middle-aged lady calling your name. You gathered all your strength or at least the last bits of it and entered the room where three posh and judgmental looking people were already waiting for you behind the desk. The room was huge and almost all white except the floor which was dark and wooden. Some rays of sun made their way to the room and your face by travelling through crystal clear French windows. Here it is, the feared audition room.

"Remind us your name, please", a man with thick black moustache said in a deep voice.

"Y/N", you said shyly.

"You may begin", the same man said with a dull expression on his face.

You took a deep breath. Everything stopped for a moment – your heartbeat, the silent scrabbling of pens and even the slight shaking in your legs. And when it all came back to life, it came out from you so naturally – you did what you loved the most. After everything was over, the moustache man – probably the main guy from those three – addressed you again in his deep voice:

"Thank you, Y/N. You may wait for results back in the waiting room or you may go home and our secretary will contact you."

You nodded and went back to the room which was still full of people waiting for their turn. Simply going home might have been smarter but you decided to stay and hear the results today.