Chapter One :Prologues
~Rowan Lovejoy~
It always starts the same and I always let it get too far... This nightmare that haunts my dreams that never departs from my mind. I see my mother and my three little brothers sitting at our kitchen table I'm sitting on the counter we're talking about how our day went. My stepdad walks in carrying two boxes of pizza. Xaiden and Xayvion jump and hug him happily then it goes downhill. I hear the shots go off and my mom and brothers screaming I'm looking through the front window. That face forever burned in my mind covered in my family's blood. I scream but nothing comes out he's running towards me... I sat up quickly crying I got up and ran to the bathroom and curled up to the toilet dry heaving into it.
My boyfriend walked in sleepily, sat beside me looking at me and yawning he said, "This is the fifth time you've thrown up this week babe; I think you need to see someone about this problem. Or are you pregnant? You aren't pregnant are you please tell me you aren't.
"I'm not pregnant Matt, God just go back to bed seeing how 'worried' you are about me only makes it worse. Especially when your worrying skills suck.” I said standing up shaking and walking to the sink to rinse my face and brush my teeth. He came up and wrapped his hands around my waist kissing my head and looked me in the eyes.
"It's really hard to be worried when you won't tell me what's going on."
"Maybe I just have a bug sorry to wake you up... Do you know what time it is?" I asked standing on my tippy toes and kissing his nose.
"About 5:30 Row come on, come back to bed please. You never come back after this happens." He pleaded pulling my hand and taking me back to our room. He laid me down looking me in the eyes and traced my tattoo on my collar bone I closed my eyes but his voice made me open them. "Please Forgive Me... What's this for? You never told me."
"It's for God..." I lied, "Because I'm a sinner so it's me begging for forgiveness permanently." It's really me begging for forgiveness from my family, for leaving them, for not being there to help them for not being strong, for standing by and watching them being murdered. For running and never looking back or letting anyone know I was ok.
"Oh I see and this one?" He asked lifting my shirt slowly and kissing the peacock feathers that cascaded down my stomach to my waist.
"They're for my mom..." I whispered trying to keep from crying I touched his hand and he looked up and rolled his eyes grunted and turned over and went back to sleep. I just laid there barely breathing looking at my wrist with permanent scars from when I was younger and my nights were often bloody and pain filled. Then my family's names written in small font around my wrist like a non-removable bracelet and a reminder of the coward I am.
When Matt started snoring I got up and walked to the kitchen the sun was just rising I brewed some coffee. I grabbed the mail and went through the thick stack sitting on my couch, there was an anonymous letter it read: "Ms. Lovejoy, you have been selected to reside in an all-inclusive beautiful beachfront property on behalf of The Art Institute of California. It is located in Santa Monica, California, in the envelope there will be a key to the home. The address is 420 Ocean Avenue the home is fully furnished and will be supplied with food and will be cleaned weekly. If you do not wish to live in the home, the key will become invalid after a week. Thank you and we hope you enjoy your stay."
"What are you doing baby?" Matt said behind me I jumped he scared me so badly. I dropped the letter and key and turned trying to stop myself from shaking.
"Nothing... Wanna go for a run with me?" I asked getting up to go put on my running shorts and sneakers he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in close and kissed me. It was one of those kisses that always made me dizzy and forget there's a whole other world out there beyond just the two of us.
