The Vampire King

23. What I See.

"No one understands. Do you hear me? No one!" He shook my shoulders as if trying to wake me up, "You don't have a clue what the fuck you're saying."

I shrugged his hands off me, pushing them away with my own.

"I was taken against my will too, Damien. Did you forget that? I thought Vampires had a oh so wonderful memory, but clearly I need to refresh yours. I know how you feel--"

"You don't know how I feel! You don't know shit about me. Stay away from my personal matters. Don't act like you know me! You don't know what I went through and I don't want you to open those wounds again!"

"But what if they need to be opened in order for them to heal?" My voice dropped to a low whisper.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you plan your own death. I knew I was taming the beast inside of him, but at the moment, I didn't care. Or rather, this newfound part of me didn't care. I wanted to shut up already, but my mouth was betraying me.

"Not everyone is out to get you, Damien. You don't have to push people away. The day you start seeing the good in things, that day will be the best day of your life." I paused to watch his reaction and when he caught my eye, the masked look on his face wavered. He turned his back to me but didn't make any attempt to walk away.

He was listening.

Something in me urged me to keep going, "You know what I realized last night, when you were drunk? You're trapped inside this room filled with haunting memories of the past hanging off the walls. They are spinning around you, suffocating you. You have the key but you don't make any attempt to open the door. Wanna know why? Because you're afraid when you open that door, the new memories of the present will rush in. You're afraid they will be as horrible as the past ones. I promise you, they don't necessarily have to be like the past ones. But just open that door, Damien."

I felt like I was done talking to him, I walked past him to put away the dirty dishes sitting on the table, but he stopped me by grabbing onto my wrist. I was still facing away from him as he asked, "How do you know all this?"

The question I have been dreading all along. Here it is. What do I tell him? Will he even believe me if I say the truth? Will he believe me if I say I had dreams about his past? Yeah, he will believe me when the sun shows up at night, which is never. But what other choice do I have? He will surely know I'm lying if I do. Hopefully he will be able to tell I'm not by using the same technique.

"I had these- um, these dreams."

He stared at me with a straight face.

"It started when you first released me. My first night here in your room, I had a dream about a little boy and his mother. It contained everything from the stormy night to the King talking to your mother. At first, I didn't even know if the little boy was you but yesterday, when you murmured in your sleep, something along the lines of your mom leaving you. She didn't want to leave you, Damien. It was the King who took you away from her. She had no choice, she had to let you go in order to keep you safe. The king threatened her that he will torture you in the worst way possible if she didn't willingly give you up. She valued your life more than anything else."

The King stared at me in confusion but somehow he slowly started to put the pieces together. His eyes concentrated on mine, "How do I know if you're telling the truth?"

I gave him the most dirtiest glare ever and surprisingly, it went unnoticed by him. He didn't seem to care. Obviously, Alexis, he just found out the eternal truth about his existence, not to be overly dramatic.

"That's the thing. You don't, so believe what you want. Just don't blame me for not telling you everything about my dreams later on."

"I won't. But just answer this, did my mom really love me?" He cleared his throat, "I mean, she really didn't abandoned me? She- she told me she would come to visit, but she never showed up. W-what's that supposed to mean?"

The dangerously small distance between us didn't go unnoticed by me. He was just mere inches away from my body which made my breath hitch. He was having trouble talking, too. I could see him searching for the right words to say. I wanted to tell him I understood exactly what he's trying to ask. I think there's nothing more satisfying in this world than knowing your parents care about you and no matter what, at least they will always love you. I wish I could feel that satisfaction, but I can't, because of this man standing in front of me. But still, I didn't have the heart to keep him from feeling that love.

"She really loved you- no, she loves you. I know she must be out there somewhere, thinking about you, worrying about you. Her precious little son."

I gave him a big smile, and for the first time ever, he actually returned it. His smile. It was the most beautiful thing ever. His whole flawless face lit up, like a lone candle in a dark night. It strangely brightened the atmosphere.

Then, the unexpected happened.

Something that I would have never imagined happening in my whole life. Ever.

He hugged me.

He closed the small distance between us just like that. Reaching forward, he enveloped me in his strong arms. They locked securely around my neck while mine just froze at my side. A sniff came from him which made me wonder if he's crying. God, why are you doing this to me? Having him so close was already bad enough, now I have to worry about his whole body being pressed against mine. It made my brain run in an overdrive, skipping from one thought to the other, but never stopping for me to think clearly. So without giving it much of a thought, I snaked my arms slowly around his waist, too. He buried his face in my hair while his fingers ran through them, combing each strand at a time. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, too. Enjoying this small blissful moment because we both knew tomorrow we will be trying to claw each other's eyes out again.

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-J.S.