Words Internalized

Leering faces lurk around every corner.

My world is made of monsters.

I'm ugly

Fat.

Stupid.

Unlovable.

Worthless.

I can see the hate etched into their stony eyes.

At least, I think it's there.

In my reality, they stare

They jeer.

They laugh behind my back.

They hurt.

Their words are whips fitted with thorns.

They tear at my skin.

They rip flesh from bone, exposing my vulnerable soul beneath.

They take me from my closely guarded shelter and beat me black and blue

Burn me.

Crush me.

Rip me apart.

They shove me carelessly back in my body, more bruised and broken than before.

The battery of words may have stopped long ago, but I still remember.

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Unlovable.

Worthless.

Your voice rings inside my own head.

Your hate has become a part of myself.

I have become my own abuser.

I see monsters everyday, fabricated by my past.

An altered reality I can't escape, no matter how hard I try.

I walk through my world in a cage of fear.

My palms sweat.

My chest tightens.

My heart races.

I vomit.

I shake.

I try my best not to cry.

I have become my own prison.

There is no key.

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Unlovable.

Worthless.

And it's all because of you.