I honestly don't think they is much to tell you about myself today. Life's hard. I hate myself. I don't want to be here. I'm ugly. I am not loved. I want love. You may say why your life was hard....it was..to me. Maybe not to you but to me it felt like nothing was ever right nothing was good. My life is like a roller coaster that only goes down hill.
I have always dreamed about being somebody. I want people to know my name. I want them to say hey they goes that girl. I have a feeling that will never happen. Shiz with my life why would it. I come from nobodies. I am nobody. I bet no one will even read this I have no clue why I'm writing to begin with. Y'all want a fantasy story about love and all. My life isn't all that
Like right now I'm dating a guy online who I don't even know but I like a dude who may be gay. Then I'm still a virgin and never been kissed. I try to talk to dudes but I get all shy.
I did date this one guy for real though. His name was jt or James ethridge. I dated him in 8th grade. I remember how we met. I was in the library with my best friends and we was talking and my friend threw my book and it hit him and then he threw it at me. It hit my boob and he laughed while I flipped him off. Then from then on we talked non stop. I remember the first time he touched me. We was laughing then all a sudden he pushed me up against the wall and grabbed my boob lol. My best friend at the time saw it and had to tell everyone. Then the next day I asked him out. Of course he said no but then later that day he asked me out. I remember being so happy that I told everyone I knew. I guess they asked him about it cause he denied it. I was so sad I asked him about it. He said he wanted to keep us secret. I knew that he didn't want to be known as that dude dating the ugly chick. But I still liked him and I soon became to love him. He saved me from myself. He saw the cuts on my wrist and instead of telling someone he took away my razors.
We was going strong for about 3 month's. Then he didn't come back to school. I never saw him. I heard he got kicked outta school for selling condoms but I'm not sure. I some times today wonder if I ever saw him what would happen. I want him to come up to be someday and be like your more beautiful than ever and steal my first kiss. I hope someday I do see him. I also hope he still loves me.
