Deadpool x reader

c:

I aimlessly dropped my coat down on the hanger and immediately headed to the kitchen to start boiling water. Today was a stressful day at work, having to stay late and get extra things to do. But it’s alright, just as long as I got my pay. I head upstairs, water taking it’s time, and went into my room. I groaned in annoyance remembering what happened at work that bothered me so much. “God, Chris is so stupid.” I said aloud, sighing.

“Who’s Chris?–” I heard a voice escape from inside the closet. I jumped back slightly as the voice quickly silenced itself. “Johnny, that you?” I called the name of my brother. He was always the pranking type. “I told you to not hide inside my room when you come over here.”
No response.
Interested, I did the most humane thing; opening the closet.
“WADE?!” I “quietly” shouted, surprised to not see my brother standing in front of me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing in there?”

“So, you think we’ll be more comfortable on the bed?” He shifted out of my clothes.
“Wh–  No! How’d you get in?”

“Your door was unlocked.” He simply replied. I sighed, remembering in the morning that I hadn’t actually locked the door.
“Oh! That’s interesting! Now get out.”

“Aw, (f/n), don’t be like that…” I had my ‘WHY NOT’ face on to show him my not caring. The merc spun around and grabbed my wrists, pulling me closer to him. “You see, in a far away place named "Bratata town” my apartment is being torn apart by some evil men from the dark side.“
'Like they’d even survive just setting foot in there.’

"Why "Bratata to–”

“It’s fun to say.” He interrupted. “Soooo, I needed a place to crash.” I pulled away from him and tried pushing him out.

“Well, you better keep that plane flyin'…” Not budging, I gave up and started to unpack my bag filled with paper work. I had a busy day planned for tomorrow, and if he stays here– which he won’t –I didn’t need a kid to look after on top of all that.

“Coming here is easier.”
I heard the slight squeaking nose of my bed, noticing some pressure was put onto it. I turn around to see Wade lying down there.
“Oh nononono, you’re leaving.” He still hadn’t moved and I continued to stare, arms crossed. He then mimicked my actions and I soon saw it was impossible to get him out. “Fine, if you’re staying here, you sleep on the floor.” I went back to arranging my papers, waiting for him to do so.
“But,” He turned about until he felt comfortable. “ Your bed is so soft…” I dropped down my work and, again, tried to pull him away.
“Yes, thats why I sleep on it– urgh!– and you sleep on the floor!” I kept struggling to drag him, but my efforts were useless. “What the hell- why are you so heavy?”
“Just give up and lay down with me.”
With no other choice, I gave in and did as he said. “See? It is more comfortable.” “Shutup.”

“So, about this Chris guy–” He started.
“Just an idiot friend of mine.”

“But I’m a better idiot friend, right?”
“Yes, Wade, you’re the king of idiots.” I shushed him off in order to sleep.
“Good.” He smiled with satisfaction.

“Your water’s done boiling by the way.”

“I don’t want tea anymore.”

“Ya, but, if you leave it out there, it’s gonna spoil?”

“I don’t think that’ll happen, Wade, water doesn’t spoil.” I yawned, tired of his yapping.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”