The Girl Who Only Talked To Me

Chapter Five

Skyler and I started officially dating about a week later, and it was just like it had been before, but with a different name. We still just hung out, talked, and laughed, and teased each other constantly, only now she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend.

And I still crept into her room late some nights when she was having a hard time and crying, and we would just talk, and I'd rub her back and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Sometimes I'd go over there when we just couldn't sleep, and we'd play board games or talk about random things that had no importance, just liking each other's company.

I went over there one night when it was snowing lightly, but I could hear her moving around her room, and I texted her to ask her to open the window so I could come over. And we sat and talked like usual, in our little spot on the floor next to her bed, and I brought up the topic that had been bugging me for so long. "Your mom says you never talk to anyone. Why?"

Skyler sat up suddenly, hitting her head against the wall, and I waited for her to calm down, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with my thumb.

"What?" she asked in a weak whisper.

"You never talk to anyone else," I repeated gently, trying not to upset her too much.

Skyler took a few deep breaths before she spoke. "Remember what I told you happened last year?"

Her best friend had committed suicide. "Yes," I said.

She turned to me, her grip on my hand tightening even more. "Remember when I said I wasn't there?"

A cold feeling of dread settled in my gut as I nodded slowly.

Skyler looked into my eyes and said slowly, "She called me and told me that she'd had enough. She told me that she couldn't take it anymore. She said that she was finally going to do it. And I looked out my window and saw her in hers, and I saw her swallow the last of the pills. And then I ran next door and up to her room and I called 911, and then I sat with her and watched her die slowly in my arms."

A cold silence settled over us as I took in the meaning of her words.

"You mean-" I choked.

Her face looked tired in the dim light of the moon reflecting off of the snow. "We used to sneak out at night and go down to the park and go on the swings because it made us feel free," she said softly. And that was when she finally started to cry.

I looked at her for a moment, realizing that she had never told anyone this before, then wrapped her in a tight hug, wishing I could fix everything that had ever been broken in this girl.

I had taken the house and bedroom of her best friend, whose final act Skyler had witnessed through our own two windows, and I always came over the same way, crossing the gap between the windows. It was a thought that stopped me in my tracks, that left me speechless, with a chilling feeling in my bones, and not just from the snow outside.

"Is that why you don't talk to anyone anymore?" I asked after a long silence.

She shifted in my arms to look up at me. "I couldn't tell anyone. I would've been sent to therapy and probably a mental institution if they knew it all. And with everyone trying to get it out of me, it became easier just to not talk at all, to anyone."

"Not even your own parents?" I asked in a whisper.

She shook her head, tears flying off her cheeks. "Least of all them. They can't send you to a therapist when you won't talk."

I let her cry in my arms for a few more minutes, rubbing circles on her back, not knowing what to do to help her.

She pulled back after a minute, and I wiped the tears off of her cheeks.

"Why did you choose to talk to me?" I asked.

She bit her lip. "Because you didn't know that anything was wrong. You didn't know to ask, and I knew I'd never have to tell you. I guess I did, but it wasn't because you made me. I guess I just felt like with you I could have a chance to start over and be a normal girl again."

I ran my fingers through her hair, pulling at the tangles.

"Maybe it's time to talk to your parents again," I suggested. "Not about what happened, just tell them something as simple as the fact that you love them. I mean, you haven't spoken to them in over a year, they're probably worried out of their minds. They're parents, you know?"

She nodded slowly. "I could try, I guess. Maybe. If you'd be there."

I smiled, pulling her into another hug. "Of course."

We sat there for another hour, talking about happier things, like places we wished we could visit someday, until the sky began to lighten and I climbed back into my own room.