At the End of the Day

Chapter 12 My Second Chance

"I want to hear you play."

"Okay. The song I played for her?"

"Yes. Please if you don't mind."

"Not at all." He sat on the bench and I sat beside him. He played a nice soft slow song. It was beautiful.  While he played he talked. "I know your pregnate."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do. Not hard for me to know things like that."

"I'm sorry. I...."

"What for? You are married to him. You both want the baby. What's there to be sorry over?"

"I thought you wanted me to have your baby. Now I'm having Josh's and I thought maybe you would be upset."

"Upset? No. It was wrong of me to push the idea of us. I'm really happy for you. Just do me one small favor?"

"What is that?"

"Let me know what the baby is when you find out. I want to know how the baby is doing."

"Deal."

   Peter continued to play on and on until Josh came in.

"How's practice going?"

"Good. We are just going over somethings on the first day. She will be an excellant player once we are done." he said still playing.

"That's great. Ready to go honey?" Peter has stopped playing and suddly looked at me. As if he didn't want Josh to notice.

"Yeah."

   I had to sit in the car while he went into the store. I sat there while Josh went into the store. I sat there watching the rain fall. It's peacefull and mostly quiet execpt for the rain hitting the car. Josh was back in an instant and we were on our way back home. When we got there I ran to the bathroom and puked until I had nothing left inside of me. I layed down on the couch and Josh put a wet rag on my head to try and make me feel a little better.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor to see if everything is fine."

"I hate going but I think you are right." He called and told them we were coming tomorrow.

   We waited for thirty minutes to hear what the doctor had to say.

"Well we have some good news and bad. The good news is your baby is fine. The bad, only for   now."

"What do you mean for now?" Josh asked worried.

"She has already lost a baby before and you can expect her to loose this one and everyone after it if you both decide to keep trying."

"Yeah but she was not taking care of herself as she should have."

"Do you want to tell him or should I?"

"Tell me what?" You could hear the anger and hurt in his voice.

"My mom lost several babies and so did her mom. Out of four kids one boy and three girls she was the only one who could have children."

"And that is supose to mean what? That you might be the same as the others... You can't have children?" I felt so ashamed so guilty. He wanted children so bad and I could not have any. It was my fault.

"She may or she may not. The fact remains if she does go through a full term when it comes time to deliver the baby she has a high risk of dying and as for the baby it may or may not live." Pain and disappiontment was all over his face.