Deciding on You || a.i. (Book 2)

01 | Maddie

How can one be "just friends" with a boy like Ashton Irwin? Really, how? I've been trying to figure out for the past week and a half.

It was easy for the first few days after I got out of the hospital. Before finals, I was getting the things that I missed from my teachers and trying my best to make it all up. During finals, I could use studying and tests taking as an excuse to completely avoid him.

Now, though, we're back in classes for a new semester. We no longer have painting and drawing together with Michael, but we still have Chemistry together. I'm almost positive that there are more Chemistry classes during the day, but he just had to be put in mine again.

Not to mention, our teacher sat us right next to each other yet again. She must think we're still together or something and, since we didn't disrupt the class that much last semester, thought she was being nice.

I sit awkwardly in my chair, staring up at the seating chart and trying to think of what to say to him when he sits down. I told him that we could still be friends, so I should not be avoiding him like I've been trying to. It's just so hard to be friends when I'm trying to get better without getting smitten and falling completely back in love with him.

I keep trying to remind myself of all the things he has done wrong, and that doesn't help me with not avoiding him either.

Before I can think any further, he pulls the chair out and it squeaks loudly against the floor. Clearing his throat, he drops his backpack onto the ground and plops down before scooting forward just as loudly.

Neither of us look at each other, and I hide my hands underneath the table. Without looking at it, I twirl the ring he gave me around on my finger nervously. Unfortunately, that's become a new nervous habit of mine, in place of braiding my hair.

I'm still trying to think of what to say to him, but by the time I come up with something and turn to him, the bell rings. He gives me a small smile and my heart leaps, so I turn back to face our teacher.

"Good morning, everyone," she says tiredly, pulling papers out of her binder and moving from her desk to pass them around, "Since it's a new group of you and a new semester, I have to start with the rules and everything again."

As soon as she says that, I can practically feel everyone around me begin to zone out. No one, myself included, wants to hear for a second time how they shouldn't rough house in the lab or that they need to wear goggles every time we do experiments.

Like clockwork, as soon as she starts reviewing the rules, Ashton leans closer to me and whispers, "Hey."

We sit in the very back and can talk quietly without being heard, which would have been great if we were still together.

"Hi," I say without looking at him, and it comes out more like a squeak. I can't avoid him, I have to be his friend. I promised him that much.

When I finally turn to look at him, another crooked smile spreads across his face and I think I might die. How on earth am I going to be his friend when he acts all cute all the time, and the only thing to keep me from thinking he's cute is reminding myself he slept with my brother's girlfriend?

"Uh, how were your finals last week?" he asks, leaning down to grab something out of his backpack.

He comes back up with a pencil and starts doodling on the paper with all of the rules printed on it. We received the exact same thing in September, so defacing it isn't an issue.

I watch as he begins to draw Captain America, his hand shaking. He's in the middle of drawing his shield when he looks back up at me, cocking his head to the side. I didn't even realize that I hadn't answered him.