Chapter One

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Love.

The one thing everybody searches for. They search and search for that one special person who makes them happy like no other, so they can spend the rest of their lives with them. I understood why they did it, of course. Isn't it a beautiful thing to love and be loved, flaws and all? To have someone who loves you, no matter how many imperfections you see in yourself? Someone who will love you, care for you, protect you no matter what.

I understood the appeal.

However, I couldn't say I had felt that. I was in love, of course, but the person didn't feel the same. I knew that because he had a different girl on his arm each month. I would say he's a player - and to some extent he sort of is - but he hates when I call him one. He says he is looking for true love, just like everybody else and that his way of going about it was just a little different in comparison to what some do.

I knew this because he's my best friend.

I'm a walking cliché; I'm in love with my best friend.

Now, being in love with my best friend isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's crying myself to sleep, wishing that I could be enough, just once. That he would feel the same because I loved him so damn much that it was physically painful to see him kissing someone else. I literally had to turn away whenever he kissed someone because I couldn't bare to see it; it hurt too much.

The fact both our parents were determined to see us together was just the icing on a very pitiful cake. I laughed it off whenever they brought up the subject, claiming that it would never happen in a million years. Jake, my best friend, would always roll his eyes and say that girls and boys can be friends without a romantic attachment.

Usually, I would agree with him. On those occasions though, I couldn't. I had formed a romantic attachment but it wasn't like I had chose to. You can't control who you fall for, after all.

"Honey, Jake is here!" I heard my mum call from downstairs, breaking my reverie. Sitting myself up on the bed, I pocketed my phone and got up, heading downstairs.

Jake was stood in the lounge, talking to my parents when I entered the room. I didn't interrupt because he was deep in conversation with my dad about football. Honestly, I never understood the fascination Jake or my dad had with football. It was just a bunch of people kicking a ball around a field. That's literally all it was. Still, they found some enjoyment out of it so I guess I couldn't say too much about it. I would be a hypocrite otherwise considering they liked to talk about my obsession with bands and books.

"Hey." I said, smiling at Jake when he turned to look at me. His brown eyes stared into mine as he smiled, showing those dimples that I loved so much.

"Hey, ready to go?" He asked, walking over to stand beside me, flicking his blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Still not going to get that cut, huh?" I couldn't help but tease as he flicked his hair back a second time. He refused to cut it, no matter how many times he had to push his hair out of his eyes. Although I teased him about it, I secretly loved it. He suited it extremely well. Though I could be biased because of my feelings; he could be bald and I'd probably still say it suited him and not a lot of people do suit being bald.

"You'd have to kill me first." He replied, smirking.

"That can be arranged," I said. "Just let me get a knife."

"You wouldn't dare. You'd miss me too much." He threw his arm around my shoulder, pressing me against his side.

"Eh, maybe." I shrugged, a teasing look on my face.

"Come on, let's go Christmas shopping," He said, his arm still around my shoulder, before turning his head to address my parents. "We'll be back later! I think my mum and dad are coming here too, they said something about it."

"Okay, dear, have fun you two!" My mum said and as I turned to look at her, I saw the mischievous look on her face that told me she was up to no good. As usual.

The thing with my mum was that she wanted me to be with Jake. Romantically. She wasn't satisfied with me and him just being friends. Not anymore. At first, she was delighted that we actually got along considering my parents and his parents were extremely close and she had been worried we would hate one another - she knew I had no respect for guys who were players - but now that she knew him more, she wanted us together. I had told her countless amounts of times that it wasn't going to happen but did she listen? Not even once. All she would say is 'only time will tell', as if that actually meant anything to me.

"We will." Jake called back, just as we exited the house, stepping into the cold air.

Although it was nearing Christmas, there was no snow and that was probably why, to me, it didn't feel much like Christmas. It would account for the past few years too. It just didn't feel like Christmas unless there was snow as well. A white Christmas was something was extremely rare, so rare in fact, that I wondered where that phrase even started.

"How many presents do you need to get?" I asked Jake as we got into Jake's car.

"Erm... mum and dad, you and the guys so... about..." Jake paused, mentally counting how many he'd be buying. "Seven."

"Are you not buying all your girlfriends a present?" I asked, feigning shock as I looked at him with a teasing smile on my face.

He turned to glare at me. "You're so not funny."

"Aww, but you can't not get them anything! If you want to find a girl you love them you need to pay attention to them."

"I do."

"Avoiding text messages is not paying attention to them." I stated, slightly amused. He had a tendency to take a girl out on one date and never contact them again, hence why I call him a player.

"Oh come on! Why would I reply to someone who calls me bae?! Seriously, that shit gets on my nerves."

I rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but agree with him. That word was the one word that got on my nerves. Did people not know what it meant? It just wasn't a word that appealed to me. Stick an extra 'b' in it and you have babe; that is a word I wouldn't mind being called. Just not bae. Never bae.

"Alright, I'll let you have that one." I nodded.

"See, if I could just find a girl that thinks like you then I'd be set." Jake replied, offhandedly.

Little did he know the affect his words had on me.






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