Time Travel Institute (Cold Curtain)

E = mc^2

"People are proud of their tattoos. It's like a modern coat of arms."—Christian Louboutin

September 10, 2147

That evening, Benjamin plucked up the courage to approach a small group of homeless men. "Excuse me, sirs, but do you have a moment to spare to talk about time travel?" He felt like a door-to-door missionary.

"The unsocialized geek homeschoolers who probably believe a bunch of conspiracy theories, too?" a man wearing several sweatshirts asked.

"Yeah." Benjamin did not feel like correcting them, and he had been homeschooled until he was thirteen. "I'm one of them, but to travel in the past, I need accurate money, so if you can tell me where to get some, it'd be really helpful."

Some of the men looked dumbfounded, but all disbelieving.

"I pinkie swear not to turn you over to the police. If I do, you can chop off my pinkie, just like they used to in Japan. I promise not to use it in the present." Benjamin held out his pinkie. "I can prove it, and I will take you on one trip anywhere in time, at least, as long as there are white people there because otherwise we'd stick out."

"No way, kid." Sweatshirts walked away.

"I've got tomato, vegetable, chicken noodle, potato soup, green beans, mandarin oranges, $37.50, a five dollar watch, and not that any of you gentlemen necessarily need them, but soap, a washcloth, toothpaste, and deodorant," Benjamin said, though they all could do with some.

"Have any cigarettes?" a white-haired black man asked. "Or are you too young?"

"No, but—"

"Too young to buy cigarettes, too young to use counterfeit money," White-haired said.

"I will give you money to buy some, if you tell me where to a good counterfeiter is. How much do cigarettes cost?"

"$5.98," Combat Boots said.

"Then you can buy about six with what I've got."

"Are you homeless, too?" White-haired asked.

"Yeah."

"Save what you've got," a man in combat boots said.

"But I've got a job, so it's okay."

"You can't rely on a job," Combat Boots said. "Once you're down, it's almost impossible to get up, and I've tried for the past thirty years. If you get sick or injured enough to go to a hospital, you probably can't afford the treatment. Without the treatment, you will at least have to take time off work, and might lose your job. You could get mugged or arrested or something, too. And winter's always hard. You don't need crime adding onto everything else. And don't go wasting money on scams like time travel."

"It isn't a scam," Benjamin said.

"Yeah, sure. Take care, kid."

Benjamin repeated similar conversations all night, meaning in the library the next day, he fell asleep.

A librarian shook him. "Sorry, but there's no sleeping allowed in the library."

"Sorry," he said. "I was up all night working."