well we've really fucked this up Haven't we

maya

why does he have to be so mean to me,why do I love him so much,fuck.why this all so fucked up

"just fuck off jake,just don't come near me"

"I just want to help you,I didn't you know you liked me"

"this is all bullshit jake,just stop playing with me,I fucking love you.i know I'm a slut,I feel empty"

"come here,we can work this out.trust me,we can do this "

yeah right,he won't be able to help me.but I might as well pretend it's helping.i just want to make him happy .everything is so fucked up I can't do this anymore,I haven't eaten in weeks,I'm starving myself.this ain't good.im going to throw up

"shit jake,I'm going to be sick"

"hey maya, you okay,fuck.maya come back"

I've got to get away from here,I can't let him know I've fucked my body up.from the nights being spent leant over a toilet with your fingers down your throat.

anyway,I can't complain too much,I have a house,a mostly stable case of bipolar and I go to a good university.

although,on the other hand I have plenty to complain about but I don't want to start tearing up again now do I.

oh,look who's followed me. king dickhead himself."fuck off jake,have you followed me to explain you already love someone,who's your bitch now dickhead"

he grabbed my head and pressed his lips softly against mine.

he moved away and proclaimed with a hint of sarcasm "you" and strolled off.

what a cunt.

making my way back to the house,I took a shortcut through the local graveyard,it's like a path straight through to the other side,taking the mossy cobble stone path which led right through the middle,my eye caught something I made myself forget...

I'd just remembered that it was my mothers gravestone.

fuck...