Family Affairs

Chapter 1 MY LIFE

TRACY

"Oh my gosh Trey Get out of my room!" I swear if he doesn't leave me alone ill punch him. I just wanna be left alone and my family is so annoying. Life in Mississippi sucks honestly . Its Friday night and i have nothing to do. Why cant i be like regular teens and have a party to go to or have a man to keep me company. I always thought being 16 would be awesome as shit but i guess not. "Tracy dinner's ready" my mom yelled from downstairs, i don't know, i mean I'm not really hungry and shes not the best cook but i guess i should go just to make her happy and so she can stay off my case. My dad usually comes home early from work but tonight something was off , he wasn't home yet so it was just me , my little 14 year old brother Trey and my mother, Tina. Dads chair was empty and his food was getting cold but nobody paid it any mind. My mom tried making conversation as usual but it was awkward to be honest. "So Trace how was school?"she asked, all i could do was roll my eyes and snap back, "Can you not call me Trace I'm not a little kid anymore I'm freaking 16 for God's sake!" Damn, that was harsh i could tell by her facial expression. "Im sorry mom i..i didn't mean that I'm sorry... My day was okay .. Im so sorry please don't cry please don't!" But that didn't help because she broke down. "Good job Tracey!" My brother yelled as my mom got up from the table. " Look I'm sorry that i'm not the best mom but I'm trying Tracy i am i know i haven't been there but gosh give me a break and a chance to make things right for once! " she yelled and stormed off. Shit, I felt bad , really bad. Trey got up and flicked me off before going to talk to her . At that same time my dad walked in and sat down at the table. " Hey , night trace wheres everybody else i know I'm late but I'm not that late." I swear if they don't stop calling me Trace!!! " Please don't call me that,and they just left i went over board on mom and she broke down and yelled and then stormed off and Trey went to comfort her. I didn't mean to i swear but she just does stuff that she knows pisses me off dad!" I said in a low voice. He just looked at me with pity in his eyes. " Tracy , give her a chance i know how you feel about her coming back into our lives after being gone for so long but at least try. " he replied . He was right and i knew it but the most i could do was say okay and go to my room. I mean its obvious she likes Trey more , probably because he takes her shit and always tries to comfort her when shes down its whatever i really don't care. She wasn't there for me before and i refuse to let her be there for me now. My problems are my problems stay out!

Saturdays in my house are usually really quiet. My parents stay in their room and Trey goes over to his friends house while i just lay in bed surrounded by all my little problems. Why cant someone love me for me? I mean I'm not the nicest or the prettiest girl but damn i have a big heart and a good ass personality . My dark brown curly hair , blue eyes and curvy shape isn't gonna go to waste even if it meant becoming a stripper. I wasn't the tallest female i'd say I'm around 5'2 to 5'3 never really checked and i don't plan to. The boys in my school were okay but not really what I'm looking for i want someone hot like hot hot ! Someone who will care for me and only me , someone who will love me for me and not because of my body and all that other good stuff i have in store, **wink wink**
Im not rushing it , right now i gotta focus on passing freaking algebra.
Yes, i know you may think its easy but i just get confused with...wait why should i be explaining myself to you! Forget it . Anyways Sundays aren't any different here besides the fact that my mother thinks its okay to just come back out of no where and suggest we need to go to Church, like no bitch you're the only one who needs Jesus here because God alone knows where you've been and who you've been with you little garden tool. Got me messed up on soo many levels. So yes we go to Church and act like one big happy ass family . Ha i know right! We probably looked so stupid sitting there pretending to be all Godly, but it made Tina happy so Trey and Carlos were happy , nobody cared about how Tracy felt but its cool. I got y'all. I see whats up. No biggie. During the week everybody went to school and Carlos went to work but of course Tina stayed home and TRIED to be a wife and mother , attempting to cook and clean and look for jobs , like she was ever gonna get one.

I dont know if i was in a good mood or just actually showing emotion but when i woke up Wednesday morning and Tina wasnt up in my ass i knew something was wrong. The morning itself felt off. I told myself maybe shes trying to cook something we like so i took a shower and got dressed for school. Still no Tina. Where is she? Why isn't she up in my business? This is new, this is different. What if she left again? Wouldn't surprise me,but i still wanted to know.

I walked into the kitchen and freaking Trey is making us breakfast. Like oh my gosh do i look like i wanna die of food poisoning? "Why are you trying to kill us both Trey, cant you just make cereal ?" Was all i could ask without being rude. "Look Trace moms sick and dad left for work so you either eat this or go hungry i can careless you little cold hearted piece of crap."  Was his reply. Hold on, let me gather my thoughts and remember how much i love the Lord. "Boy if you dont shut your trap and hop off my ass . First of all stop calling me Trace or ill kick your ass and dispose of you in a different way to what Tina tried to do. I dont know why she couldnt have swallowed you honestly. Now move so i can get some cereal." His face was priceless which meant he totally didnt know she tried to abort him . Oops it slipped ... Maybe. He'll be fine. "Thats not true Tracy stop trying to make me join your side!" He yelled and walked out the door. "Why dont you ask her for your self you little twat!" I screamed back and calmly made myself a bowl of the good ass tasting cereal i could never remember the name of . Sad i know but oh well.

My walk to the bus was longer than it was supposed to be . 95% of that reason is because i was lazy and the other 5% was because i was thinking about how Tina suddenly got sick, like hmmm are you pregnant AGAIN? Or is it just a little cold?  Half of me didnt care while the other half of me was slight worried. Is this serious? Or is this her way of avoiding me because shes still upset from what i said at dinner Friday night. Whatever it was right now it didnt matter, simply because my first period was Algebra . During the whole class the only person i could think about was Tina, like what the hell. I need to focus on finding X and Y. See shes making me fail even more!

When i got home there was a note on the fridge from my dad and about 2 voicemails from him also. He took Tina to the hospital she was in a lot of pain. Damn, hope shes okay but hope it hurts you know. Trey got home an hour later and just kept asking me questions upon questions about whats going on with her as if i'd know and as if i'd care. Eventually he begged me to take him down there so i did because if i didn't drive him he would've been taken by an ambulance because he was pissing me off. Anyways we got there and shes hooked up to so many tubes and equipment. If i wasn't such a gangster i would've cried but real niggas don't cry, you know. I'm playing, i cried like a bitch. Even Trey was surprised but i held him while he cried . We didn't leave the hospital till around 2am, i definitely wasn't going to school the next day nor was i sending Trey . Carlos had to work so he left us home. For once i could say Trey didn't annoy me . He slept in my room that night...i know very unusual ! I woke up and made some bacon and pancakes for us to eat then we got dressed and went back to visit our mothership. Im gonna pause with my gangster act for a moment and just say it broke my heart to see her like that . It would be different if i had stabbed her or something but i didn't so its not okay .

Even though we weren't up to it we attended school for the rest of the week while Tina stayed hooked up to all those machines. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with her all her tests weren't showing anything and it was frustrating us as a family. Then that day happened. We we're sitting in her room just waiting for her to wake up when all her machines went flat and that stupid "BEEEEEEEEEPPPP" filled the air , the doctors rushed us out and tried to revive her but it was too late.. Tina was gone. The thing is, she died and i never got to apologize for how treated her, i never got to give her the chance to prove herself and that will always live with me. Trey was a hot mess and i was there for him. I held him , i spoke to him, i let him sleep in my room, i comforted my little brother because he needed me. If he only knew that Tina had stabbed herself in the stomach trying to kill him while he was just a fetus. If he found out, he'd hate her and i cant do that to him now or ever . It'd kill him. On the day of her funeral Carlos , Trey and I were like ship wrecks, so many people had to hold us while we screamed and cried for her to come back and when we got home it got worst. All we had was each other now and we needed to cherish that. We couldn't stay here anymore and we knew it. Where we were going to move to? None of knew. Trey wanted to go to France. Like how can you be so stupid. We don't even speak french. "Trey lets be real , you and i are black we speak english Carlos speaks Spanish so yes we do know a little Spanish but french isn't out thing and you know it." Since Tina died we haven't laughed that hard or even laughed at all . It was a really good feeling to see everyone smile and laugh. In the end Carlos told us his job will be moving us to Atlanta Georgia.