#onehourstories

The second-last step in the process is to leave the baby on the doorstep

 and ring the bell -- I guess it's tradition. I usually just hang out at a bus stop or something until the client comes out, take the pic when they bring the basket in. It's kind of the trickiest part, to get them in possession before they shut the door... I missed it once and didn't get paid. Now I just shoot video.

I line up the frame and hit record...just looks like I'm texting. The first couple of deliveries I'd paid attention to the reactions. Sometimes the women's faces would soften, and I'd feel good about that. Just as often, it'd be shock and fear. The men would often look around as if someone was playing a practical joke. Which wasn't too far off.

But after a while the reactions began to repeat, and it gets predictable. Back when I delivered pizza you never knew what you'd get. Everyone orders pizza. Happy people, angry people, drunk people, priests -- it was almost ridiculous. When I got the organics box job I got paid nearly twice as much, but Jesus, was it boring. If I hadn't told Tony to fuck off when I left I might have gone back to pizza.

My phone bleeps and I see the storage is full, and I have a panicked couple of seconds where I delete a movie and resume filming. Just in time for the couple to open the door -- ol' Nick of time Nicky! Haven't felt a rush like that on the job since I'd land a pie at 29 minutes and change. Sorry, no freebie for you!

They're taking their time out there on the stoop. She's lifting the baby up, I can hear its tiny cries across the street. He's looking at the supplementary materials -- I'm not sure which package it was, just whatever the researcher thought would work best based on the social media scrapings. Same data that targeted them as good clients. It's above my pay grade but I can tell you that since I got this job I've never Liked any baby pictures.

He hugs her, and she's crying out there, it's like an ad for something but at this point I'm watching my storage pass 95% full and am like: yes yes, life-changer, get on with it! Because the agency's a stickler on what they consider "complete documentation." The orientation had something about it being related to private property, I forget the details, but unless they take it in it's not delivered.

They always take it in eventually.

Finally, just when I'm about to lose it, the new happy family turns and enters their apartment. Dad looks around one last time in a bewildered way as he shuts the door. I hit stop on my phone: 99% full! Phew. I upload the vid to StorkCloud and let dispatch know I'm taking lunch now. I'm hungry as hell.

Think I might get some pizza.