Bilbo realized it's been 5 years since Thorin visited him in The Shire. "That little shite." Bilbo thought. He wanted to go to Erebor but he knew how far that was and didn't want to risk it. So Bilbo got an idea. He would send him a letter via owl! "MOE LESTER." Bilbo shouted his name.
"wat teh fack u want" Moe said as he flew next to the hobbit. Bilbo quickly got a piece of paper and wrote down. "Hello, it's me" on it. "I want you to send this to Thorin Oakenshield." Bilbo said. The owl nodded and took the letter. "Thank you." Said Bilbo. "YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOT." The owl shouted and took off.
1 month later, a letter finally arrived back to Bilbo from Thorin. It said, "new owl who dis" Bilbo was angry that he didn't know it was him who sent it and that it took him a whole month to send the letter. So he summoned an angel to do some magic shet for him.
"Hello." The angel said. "My name is Castiel and I'm an angel of the Lord." Bilbo was so happy he summoned him. "Listen Crustiel," Bilbo began, looking at his musty trench coat in disgust, "I want you to bring Thorin Oakenshield to me." "No." Castiel replied. "I do not listen to people that look like a foot. Goodbye, Assbutt." And with that, he disappeared.
Just then, Thorin shows up. "FINALLY YOU COME I HAD TO SUMMON SOME RUDE CRUSTY ANGEL BECAUSE OF YOU." Bilbo shouted angrily at the Dwarf King. "Who Asstiel?" Thorin asked, knowing how crusty that angel was. All of a sudden, Sam and Dean Winchester show up. "I hEARD CAS WAS HERE." Dean yells. "I'm sorry I have to go home immediately." Bilbo said, stuffing Thorin in his purse and leaving. The end.
