Let It Loose

Chapter 2- The Move.

My world where everything made sense had been shattered. It was gone. All gone at the snap of their fingers. My parents fingers that was.

The had found out. They knew about the laughter and the parties. Every wasted boyfriend that I had ever had. Every drunken kiss at the crack of dawn and every salty tear that had rolled down my cheek in the midst of a storm.

Everything I knew was shattered before me. The banter, the crowds...The good times, the mumbled cries and the slow, slurred songs sang around the badly made campfire. My whole life, gone at the press of a button.

They had assumed that I had lost it. That the true me was gone. Yes I did lose it but not a minute, a second or even a year ago.

It was ages ago back when my parents were blissfully unaware of their child. All they knew, loved and breathed was work. It consumed them and ate away at me too.

All I ever wanted was attention from them. All I needed was their love. The single tear that would soon turn into a watefall was not due to a present that I hadn't recieved. It was due to lack of attention, lack of love. They thought I understood their long hours, and obsessive behviour. But I never really did- all I ever saw was lack of love.

I soon became a mess, always doubting myself, thinking I wasn't good enough. As days passed I realised I needed a diversion, something to relieve me of my stress. Of my hurt. Of everything.

That's when I went to my first party. Daniel McSpielman invited me and I accepted. I wanted to get everything off my mind, to escape. So I did.

Sarah and Maisy showed me the delights of party life with ease. They introduced me to high, slinky but sexy dresses and to the short and tight skirts.

To the endless supply of cute and sexy boys. To the alcohol and laughter. To the things that soon became my life.

It was that night that I got wasted and actually freed myself of stress. I let go and had fun. Sure, it was a drunken fun where the world was blurred and bright colours were stronger and brighter but it was my world. Where I was loved and cared for. Where I was the light of the party. Where all the attention was on me and me alone.

Now, all those experiences were gone. You know why? Because we were moving all the way from Texas to... well that doesn't matter.

All that matters is that one mistake. That one thing that held no significance at the time but now (I realise) had more power than I ever knew.