the chains on my wrists are lose enough so i can write the screams i want to release on paper.
as i think about my life the end seemed more interesting then the beginning. as i sit here now back to where i was a couple of months ago, i realize everything was a waist.
i hurted the most important person.
aaron.
god i mustve killed him. i can't imagine what went through his mind.
what happened to his mind.
so cold, so cold so col-
i can't even think let alone write
i can't
no i just
can't-
I shoved the notebook to the floor and squeezed my head with my hands. The days that have gone by have only gotten worse.
They haven't given me any food and my stomach growls so loud it keeps me up at night.
I can't even remember the last time I used the bathroom or showered.
4 days ago? or 1?
A guard comes in, he opens the locks on the doors and shuts it behind him.
I scramble into the corner, hoping if i push hard enough the wall will crumble.
He grabs the chains and yanks them up so hard i can't move my arms. He undoes them and I drop my arms.
"up" he says his voice dark, harsh.
I stumble quickly.
He takes a chain and links my hands close together. and pull on the end of the chain, like a leash.
At first i refuse but then he yanks so hard i almost fall over.
He leads me outside and my eyes have to adjust to the brightness of the room.
he takes me down a hall, the walls are a dark grey.
At the end of the hall theres a door.
He opens the door and tugs for me to go in.
I step in. Its completely black.
I turn around-
he drops the chain and closes the door. I run towards it, careful of my footing. I bang into the wall, my hands sliding down looking for a knob.
Theres none.
I hear a creak, and turn around slowly. Still not able to see anything.
Theres running water.
I walk towards the noise and eventually feel the steam.
A hand.
I let out a scream but a hand is to quick to cover it.
Im pulled and the burning water stings against my skin.
The water blocks my nose and the mouth is still over my hand and I struggle to breathe.
I yank back gasping.
"its okay..im here"
i freeze.
"aaron oh my god"
"shh" i feel his hand on my arm and he tugs me into the water.
there must be microphones in here.
"aaron-" i choke out
"god juliette im so fucking sorry" his voice is strained and its taking me everything not to cry.
"i wanna get out of here" i say, my voice sounding like a child.
"we will baby, we will" he says pulling me close, kissing my forehead.
a few seconds go by, the water becomes adjustable.
"the foods okay to eat, theres nothing in it" he says.
"huh?"
"the food-"
"what food?"
"you've never gotten food?" he says.
i lift my arms, putting them against his ribs.
"you haven't eaten?"
i shake my head, he seems to know.
"jesus" he says something else but i don't hear.
"do they at least give you a blanket for bed?" he says.
this is his plan.
his plan is to have me treated like an animal, and have aaron treated like royalty. just to torture him.
"yes" i lie.
"good, ill sneak you food next time" he says.
the door opens.
"i love you" he says holding me closer.
"aaron-"
the guard grabs me and its the last thing i say before the door is shut.
