Title: Nightfall's Spire
Author: Ferretlp
Type: Fantasy Story
Status: Ongoing (Reviewed up to Chapter 4)
Blurb:
A possessed assassin...
Two mercenaries...
A black mailed king...
And the price of immortality...
The land of Corzya is in turmoil. Centuries ago, the realm was Cursed with violent storms, earthquakes... and worse. The Archmage was put into power to curb these disasters and save the people of Corzya. As time passed, new Archmages have been Risen to power and slowly learned the secrets of this grand Curse. But now, the power of the current Archmage, Acerbus Wyte, is draining and the Curse is returning.
Meanwhile, the king has ordered two mercenaries to his court and a secret assassin has been sent on his most challenging quest yet. Will these three people discover their true place in these strange events, or will their lives be lost forever?
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Okay. The story all together? Superb. Actually quite interesting.
When you read the blurb, not gonna lie, it does kinda start off cheesy. In normal circumstances, if it's just based on the beginning of the blurb? I'd be rolling my eyes by now and saying goodbye.
However, it does get better. The blurb was actually well thought out, and the ending, especially, gets you hooked. Mysterious. And come on, who doesn't love mystery?
The writing all throughout was great. The way the author formatted it and God, oh God! The punctuations! It was actually superb! She didn't over use it and she didn't not use it either.
The prologue started out quite slow and if I'm honest, it was actually quite confusing. I understand it's written in 3rd person but either the author just didn't realise it or she's just 'trying' to create more mystery, whatever the case, it was confusing. There were too many "his" and "other man/mage" without saying which guy it was referring to. It would've been great if she made it clear if it's 'the dying man' or the 'other dude' especially since the dialogue keeps on switching between the two males.
Throughout the story, there were some minor odd phrasings, confusion of which tense to use (e.g. using these instead of those, or walked instead of walking), using the wrong connective words- a lack of it even or too much of it sometimes (not that it's obvious mind you, I'm only pointing it out). It didn't interrupt or ruin the story at all, like I said there were only a few of them mistakes.
On some bits the author kinda got confused as well? E.g she wrote "Was this from fear or madness? Right now, I've really could tell the difference." when shouldn't it be "...Right now, I really could not tell the difference"?
There were also times when the author repeated herself, like in Chapter 1, she wrote "...Milton counted how many seconds it took..." twice in two different paragraphs. Either the author did make an honest mistake or it just seems Milton has a mild case of amnesia. In the Prologue "...the main room as eyes as eyes allowed sight..." The author even used the same opening sentence just next to each other "Inside this grand room..." in the Prologue as well.
To be honest, there weren't that many mistakes at all. The author genuinely done a great job writing it, I mean, we all make those mistakes! She's only done few minor mistakes that a simple editing will quite easily fix. Kudos for her.
Her writing in medieval language was actually quite good. Yes there were slip ups (E.g. using 'Have a nice day!' on a formal invitation by a King o.O) but all together her medieval voice was smooth.
The plot? So far it's going good. The story environment actually kinda reminded me a bit of a mix between Graceling and Eragon. Although, in my perspective there were times when the story felt kinda dragged a bit, but it is still starting out so we'll have to see.
But one thing that kinda raised my eyebrow, was the murder of Sir Jonal? That he's somehow being impersonated? We didn't know anything about him at all then suddenly, BAM! He's not even the same man. It all came out pretty fast and blunt for it to be of a real shock. It was the cliche the bad guy spill their guts out about their evil plan. The author could've dragged that out and used it as another plot twist. But hey.
Over all? Great writing, great formatting, great potential plot, a few mistakes but voila that was it.
Well done and good luck!
Yours truly,
K.D.
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A Krazy Critic's Reviews
Non-FictionExactly what the title says. A catalogue of all my Krazy Reviews. Not as Krazy as myself, but it's all honest opinion and criticism. Hopefully, this will help all the great Author's and Writers I've reviewed. Enjoy!
