Hacking into my Hyper-linked Heart

Chapter 8- The Unsettling Feeling

 Maybe he does.

My inner voice nagged at me. I re-positioned myself on the bed as I lay on my back and I looked up at the ceiling as I debated with myself if Chris meant something to me. I mentally started to tick off why he didn't mean a thing to me:

1.  He's delusional

2.  He's annoying

3.  He gave me a nickname that I hate

4.  He may be a creepy stalker

Actually let's just ignore number four; Chris has proved to me that he lacks the skills to be a criminal. Is there anything else...? Nope that is it.

ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS THREE REASONS!!!! Argh!!

Now think Myra, why does he mean something to me?

1.  He's cute

2.  He's easy to talk to

3.  He didn't really gloat about the fact that he was right, he was sweet about it and gave me some advice

4.  I love bickering with him

5.  Feeling guilty, okay no, more like upset that I made Chris worry about me

That's all I could think of so far. Oh great!! That's two more than the, 'Why he doesn't mean something to me,' list which indicates that he does mean something to me. I instantly pull the pillow from my side onto my face as I buried my face in the soft material, feeling embarrassed about what I have discovered. After I had calmed down, I withdrew the pillow away from my face as I tried to think about my feelings towards Chris. I do like talking to him and I especially love it when I see his message sitting in my inbox. Does this mean that I may like him in that way?

Oh great, I just have realized that Chris might mean something to me whereas just 20 minutes ago, I was thinking about the stranger from the club. Maybe I was just intrigued about whom he is, which caused me to think about him, yeah I guess that's it. But how can I explain the odd feelings I felt last night, the way I drew my body near him so I could feel him against me.

Honestly Myra, he was a stranger that you met at a club, do you honestly think you will see him again? There are billions of people out there; do you honestly believe that he would miraculously pop into your life again? My inner voice taunted me, why am I even over thinking about this? I just felt attracted to the stranger, whereas with Chris....

Before I could explore into my feelings, an icon popped up letting me know Chris was online. I clicked on his name, instantly a chat box came up. I debated within myself if I should chat with him or simply reply to his message. I didn't know why, but I suddenly felt nervous and I mean REALLY nervous. I took a deep breath in and quickly typed, 'Hi,' before I could change my mind. I waited for his reply, but I nothing came up. Was he avoiding me? That was all I could think of. I started to chew on my nails as I waited for his reply. Every second seemed to drag on as I waited impatiently. After sometime, I looked at my time and saw it had only been five minutes since I messaged him on the chat box; it was obvious he was avoiding me. I felt hurt and embarrassed; I moved the laptop away from me, not wanting to see the screen and my embarrassing moment when Chris avoided me.

I got up from my bed and walked into the living room to see Sally sleeping on the sofa. I walked to the armchair and sat down and picked up a magazine as I flicked through it. I wasn't even concentrating on the size 0 models or the text; all that went through my mind was this:

How could I be so stupid to message him...?

Just because he messaged you few emails, doesn't mean he cares about you…

But why was he avoiding me...

I want to shoot myself for starting that chat message...

I got up from my chair instantly and made up my mind. I was going to go in my room and give him a piece of my mind. I jumped onto my bed and lay down on my stomach ready to send him a hate email. I pulled the laptop towards me and waited for the screen to light up and when it did my heart instantly picked up speed as I looked at the screen.