I'm complicated

Two.

"Get up Jess, we're going shopping! You haven't been out of the house since you got here!" I heard Mark shout.

I haven't been out of the house for four days because I don't like hanging out with Mark. I dislike him but him making me go out is making me dislike him even more. I decided to ignore him and stay on the bed. I put my headphones in when I heard footsteps coming to the stairs and towards my room.

"Jess? Come on you going with me," he said "I'll wait for you outside."

I guess I have to go out then. I get up and put a black beanie on to match my ripped black skinny jeans and black nirvana t-shirt. I don't care how hot Australia is... My love for beanies is to big. I put my shoes on and start going down. I can hear Mark talking to someone outside. Walking out side I could see who he is. He is talk with brown hair and brown eyes. I just wait there awkwardly for then to stop talking

"Jess. Meet Calum, he lives next door to us and he's in the same year as you," Mark said "why don't you hang out someday?"

"That would be pretty cool. I mean only if Jess would like to," he said.

They both looked at me and I looked at Calum then Mark, then I turn around and walk away. I don't want to hang out with Calum or Mark or anyone. I just want to be left by myself... Just like I always was.

"Sorry about her, she doesn't really talk much but perhaps she will if you get to know each other," I heard Mark say before turning around and walking towards me.

I look at Calum as he waves and shows he's fake smile. I hate him already. I go inside the car and wait until Mark starts to drive.

"You could of at least tried to be nice," Mark said.
I ignored him and looked out the window. ‭I see a lot of stuff. I guess you tend to notice a lot more stuff when your quite. It's like your mind focuses on a lot more when your not talking. Kids are playing outside, a couple (at least I thing it's a couple) are arguing about something and two elderly people at talking about something, smiling.

"Jess? Hello?" I heard Mark, once again.

I turned around and I guess I have zone out... It happens a lot lately.

"You zoned out for a while. Anyways were here."

We got out the car and headed to the shops.

~

We bought a couple of things. Some food, some toiletries and a backpack for me as school is tomorrow and I don't think my dad has send of my things. I got a black and white backpack... Like the one I have in England. I didn't want Mark to spend money on me but he insisted and I did need a bag for school so he did what he wanted to do.

Turns out Mark is the Sport teacher in the school I was suppose to go to, that's how he knew Calum. He said Calum was very good at football, or soccer how they call it here. But I still can't get over the fact that my uncle is a teacher in the school I am going to.

We got home and as usual I didn't talk. Mark called me for dinner, I wasnt really hungry but I eat anyways.

"I haven't asked how your dad is yet," he said

I looked away and didn't respond. Suddenly my food lost its taste.

"Jess," I heard him say "how is he?"

I push my food away and sit back at the chair not wanting to answer and not really knowing how to answer. I haven't really had a good relationship... Ever. He left when I was there and came back when I was 13. My mum didn't know what to do as this twisted her life upside down once again. They would argue and then my mum... Well she... She committed suicide. I was 16 at the time... I'm 17 now. She wrote a letter saying that she loves me and always will but she can't Handel the pain my father caused her. That was when me and my dad really started to not get alone. I stopped talking and he started drinking and hurting.

"Jess your doing it again! Your zoning out!" Mark screamed.

I jumped as he screamed. I felt a lump in my thought but I didn't want to cry... Not in front of him at least. I stood up and turned around cos I was ready to leave but he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around... Harshly. This brought back memories that I didn't want to come back. Ever.

"D-don't do t-that to me!" I cried "D-dad did e-enough of that!" I stuttered .

I ran to the bathroom, locked myself and broke down crying. I could hear Mark cursing outside the door. After what seemed like forever he stopped and said quietly "Jess... I'm sorry I didn't know your dad, my brother, did that to you."
Yes, my father, should he even be called that, abused me and my mum both mental and physical... One of the reasons why my mum killed herself. She left me. She loved him to much to move away from him. I don't understand how you could love such a monster. But she did.