Finding Brii {FTFE Prequel)

Part Four

People say that you can't just up and leave everything that you've ever known. I did.

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Brii's POV

We left. Now what, was the question. We ended up going to my aunts house to spend the night, figure out what was going to happen next. Everything after that was honestly a bit hazy. My little brother was asleep on my aunts couch, my uncle was silently watching TV, aware of the delicate situation and keeping his distance. My mom and myself were in the kitchen with my aunt, cousin and her two year old, talking and venting to them about what happened. Payton, the two year old, running from one place to another, innocently unaware of what was happening around her.

I felt like I should be crying, but for me there was nothing to cry about. Rob, who had stayed with my dad, didn't have a good relationship with me. We used to be really close I guess, but I have no memory of him when I was little, but I was told we had been almost best friends. I don't remember any of that though, and besides, we didn't have a good relationship now. So I couldn't cry about him. My dad, I wished he wasn't in my life. He added nothing but negative impacts and confusion to my life. Why should I cry about him? I had absolutely no reason to.

So when my mom cried to my aunt in frustration and confusion about leaving her husband and son, I sat there wordlessly. After that, I don't remember anything. We must have gone to bed, because I woke up in a bed. A bed that wasn't mine, but I figured I should get used to that. I was right.

Later that morning we all sat down to breakfast. Ricky, my mom and I were a wreck, to say the least. Leaving was the easy part. It was going back that was the hardest part, and we all knew that. Rob would surely feel the sting of being abandoned, even though he had chosen to stay. My father would probably be furious, for sure. He was ungrateful to have us, but yet it was unacceptable for us to leave. Pretty hypocritical, yes, but that's just what he was.

After a breakfast that was seemingly tasteless, we left around noon to go back to the house and try to figure some things out. My mom had to work the next day, which was a Sunday, so we had no choice but to spend the night in the same house as my father. In all honesty, my mother should have had a plan before we left, but my mother was like that, plan-less, spontaneous, and just went were the moment took her. I had always been the nerves, serious, rational one that worried about these things after she had always done them. I hadn't known that I would have needed these skills to such a high extent. 

As we drove into the driveway of the house I had called "home" all my life, I wasn't sure how anything was going to be. We walked in and my brother was watching TV, his eyes focused on the screen, and my father was nowhere to be seen. His truck wasn't in the driveway, so I assumed him to be gone. My mom walked up to Rob and just hugged him, crying violently. Rob froze for a minute, then tears started glistening in his eyes and he too started hugging and crying as well.

I stepped back out of the living room, walking to my shared room at the end of the hall. I opened the door and instead of the eerie creaking noise it makes in the movies, it was silent. The muffled sobs coming from the living room, a couple cars driving by, but silence. I looked around the room; dresser drawers were still open, my closet door was off its hinges from being yanked open, and their were random toys  of Ricky's scattered around the room. But through all of these flaws of the room that would usually be called character, it seemed empty. Like I was living someone else's life, that what this was didn't belong to me. It was a small room and it wasn't much, just a desk, a dresser, toy boxes, but it didn't feel like it was mine. It felt like I had just walked into a strangers house and into someones room, like they were just in the spur of a moment and their life just stopped. It was unreal and probably one of the creepiest feelings I had every had. 

Dinner was uneventful. Everything seemed normal that night. My dad came home at around ten, waking me up by stomping up the hallway to his and mom's room, luckily Ricky didn't wake up from it too. I prepared myself to roll over and got my pillow ready to go over my ears, but I didn't hear screams, see violent movement front the other side of the closed door, but only heard muffled sobs and words. I didn't understand this. Fights were normal, why would they be replaced by this? I eventually fell asleep, almost wishing to be awoken by a fight. Fights were familiar to me, fights I could hear, so I knew what was going on. When it was silent, it was scary, because I had no idea what was happening or what would happen next...

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So that was a lot but I just wanted to shout out to beccakachmar because she's writing her life story as well and there is a character in her story that is ME! YAY! 

Love, 

Lila L