Realized {Izaya X Mikado}{BoyXBoy}

Realized

Durarara:Izaya X Mikado

I hate it,I hate it how my heart throbs when I see a certain informant breaker.Whenever this happen I feel like crawling in to the deepest hole and never coming out.But why? why DOES my heart throbs when I see the informant breaker?When I talk,well TRIED to talk to the informant breaker I will always stutter over my words.Is it because I acknowledge that he is a dangerous person?Was I nervous because of what he could do to me?Was I scared?Yea thats must be it.There was no way that I have feelings for the man.Who could?He was a dangerous person,it would be wrong to fall for him.

Yet he has fallen so deeply for that person.

Where was he going?No where in particular,he was just roaming around the streets of Ikebukuro.What was he doing roaming around anyway?Was he trying to get a certain informant breaker out of his head?Of course not,why was that person even in his head in the first place?Well his attempt spiral into a failure when a vending machine was thrown to the wall beside him.

"IIIIIZAAAYAAAAA",He knows full well that the scream belongs to non other than Heiwajima Shizuo and whenever theres a screaming Shizou theres bound to be an annoying and mischievous Izaya in tow. "Catch me if you can Shizu-chan!",Izaya said all the while giggling like a mad man.He takes a sharp breath.What was the pain that he felt in his chest?He feel like he is going to suffocate.He should leave,he cant be around the mad man.He felt like he is in great danger.He quickly leave the place and headed to his house.

Was it really danger he was feeling? Jealousy,a feeling of insecurity,fear, concern, and anxiety. How can human feel this ugly emotion? Well Ryuugamine Mikado is going to find the answer sooner or later.

Sighing,Mikado slid down the door of his house.Why was his heart beating so fast?On the streets,for some reason he felt a little hatred for Shizuo.But why?He and Shizuo were good friends.Shizuo always help him whenever needed.He shook his head trying to clear out his mind when he felt hot liquid running down his cheeks.What was it?He went to the bathroom to look in the mirror.Was there even a reason to why was he crying?He felt like punching the mirror so bad that his hand shook.

Well of course he didn't punch the mirror.He knows he'll regret it afterwards. Maybe he should ask his friends about it. Will he regret hearing his friend's answer?

I keep replaying the memories from yesterday.What was those feelings?I felt like I've betrayed Shizuo for hating him.Why did I hate him?He didn't even do anything wrong.So why?Arghhhh this is so frustrating!"Ryuugamine Mikado!Will you pay attention to class?""H-Hai,sorry"Small laughter erupts from the class.Ahh,I should just ignore this feelings.Theres no point on trying to figure it out.

No point?It's like giving up on solving a disease that could kill.

"-ado",MIKADO!""Huh?"I snap from my thoughts and look at my childhood friend,Kida Masaomi."Geez Mikado you've been zoning out a lot today."But why tho?"I have?Sorry I didn't realize that","What's wrong?what have you been thinking about so much lately?""Nothing",Nothing?Don't make me laugh.Kida looked at me worriedly,"Mikado I have been your friend for years,I know when your troubled"

Maybe its a good thing to tell someone about his problems.

Sighing,Mikado took a deep breath,"Kida,what does it mean when im thinking about someone everyday?and when I see that person with someone else a sudden urge of hatred was towards the other person.(Is that even right?I donno just roll with it)",Kida suddenly chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eye."Looks like my child Mikado has learned the emotion of love!"Kida said while dramatically placing his left hand on his heart and raising the other.

No,that cant be right.Love?Has his friend gone mad?He didn't actually love Izaya right?"A-are you sure thats what it means?""Of course!Now tell me who's this girl that caught my child's Mikado heart!"."I-Its no one!","awww come on you can tell me!","I-Its not a girl!"

The time seems like it has stop for him. Why can't he just vanish from the surface of the earth? Because his just a mere human.

Kida's eyes went wide after hearing his friend's words.Slowly a grin made its way to his face."Its ok Mikado!I accept you even if your gay!Now tell me who is this guy?!""Im not even sure if I even like him","Come on Mikado!On what you describe you have fallen so deeply for that man!" Mikado sigh.He knows that his friend is not going to like what his going to say next."Fine,that person is-"

The fear and hatred that struck his eyes tell the other person all. Had he betrayed a friend?

Mikado sigh to himself as he laid on the futon of his house.He recalled back the memories from yesterday.

"Mikado,I told you to stay away from him.""I did but I somehow just-argghhh!!Im so frustrated!What should I do?"Mikado said in the sound of defeat."I can't help you,its your decision to decide what your going to do."

"But I hope its a decision that you wouldn't regret"

Mikado stood up and put on his sweatshirt.He went outside into the chilly night of Ikebukuro deciding to go to the city squre.

But unbeknown to him a pair of eye was watching his every movement.

To Be Continue...