woods seem like a nice place to hide, but killers seem to have some natural talent at hide n’ seek. and never run for a abandoned mine shaft or the empty looking cave either. the mine shaft will hide you for a little bit, corner you, and give him plenty of old pickaxes and mining equipment to build a tank. even if you do grab a pickaxe, he’s the killer, he has the balls to do it. that, or the bloody valentine dude will get you. and the cave, may work at first, until you feel a hot, moist, stench breath of a bear. even the school track star can’t outrun a animal, or the bear, because bears can run at about 30 mph. and if you didn’t listen the first time, no heels, especially in the woods, dumb-ass.
don’t talk to the killer. why would you strike a conversation with the dude who’s about to kill you, you might piss him off even more. and you’re trying to run and hide. it’s not as easy when you stay 5 feet in front of him. and what are you going to talk about, how his kids are honor students, or how his knife looks especially bloody today. hey, maybe you’ll make friends, and after he kills you he’ll draw on you like the pass out at a party.
renew your guns and licenses. its a lot better to own a new gun rather than the one passed down from the 1820’s. and if your license is valid, then the killer made his own mistake. because unlike the movie, your killer will actually die when shot, not when their shot about 55 times, drowned, electrocuted, hung, buried alive, and peed on by the dog.
own a big dog. chihuahuas may be cute and cuddle and sometimes vicious looking, but their not that good when guarding the house. my little sister has one, and i feel like punting the little bastard across the street. your killer might just do that too.
bark bark,
shut the hell up,
bark bark (growl),
screw this, (step step kick, puts hand to fore head) and its good!
Never go off alone. Stay with the group. You have a much better chance of survival then going off on your own.
Never have sex. You will be dead in five minutes or less after finishing.
Always run away from the house and never go upstairs. The killer always is hiding in a closet upstairs or hiding in a darkened room somewhere in the house. The further away from the house you go the better.
Never walk around unnarmed when there is a killer on the lose. Get a baseball bat, a golf club, a knife…anything. The less armed you are the worse off your chances are.
Never let anything in at night.
Shoot’em in the head. That always works.
If something is after you run and hide.
Stay with the group. You have a higher chance of surviving if you do.
Get armed. Keep a weapon handy. You’ll need it.
