Hetalia Twist

Chapter 8: Who here isn't drunk?

By the way, I love when people comment on my story, i have no idea whether this is crap or not, so plz at least say if you like or hate it.

I love gay peoplez! <3

el oh el

Grazie!

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Alfred placed the headset down onto the head seat. The cockpit was filled with an unnatural silence. Alfred stood up and rubbed his ass. "My butt hurts. Er... I mean..." Shit, i lost my train of thought... Ivan stared at the American. The cockpit was filled with another awkward silence. "Is it just me, or do you question the fact that we have not begun World War III?" Alfred sighed. "No, I agree with you. I think that's a little odd." Ivan got up. "Da, I thought it was just me."

Alfred streached his arms. "How drunk is everyone?" Ivan picked up his metalic pipe. "On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to have to say a... fifty eight and a half." Alfred's eyes widened. "What..."

 Ivan twisted the faucet, looking up the nozzle. "Da, they all passed out. And I bet you that half of them could have had a heart attack or die from some type of catastrophic shock. Some may never wake up again, a coma no doubt." His reaction to this was as if it happened all the time."What a shame."Ivan responded with blunt sarcasm. He shook the pipe and frowned. "Why won't anything come out?"

Alfred couldn't get into the cockpit fast enough. He yanked down the intercom, clearing his voice. "Hello, and welcome to the United States of America. My name is Betty and I will be your tour guide for the next eleven minutes and twenty eight seconds. We have some very special things to discuss today before we proceed to our sexy little hotel suite."

 The countries became silent. Was he speaking in a gay accent? He released the speaker button. He motioned for Feliciano, the Italian tripping over several unconscious people's legs before standing in front of him, saluting dramatically. "Erm... how many people here are NOT drunk?" "Oh! That's an easy one sir!" He turned around and began counting. "One, two, three, four, five... do you count?"

Alfred sighed. This... this won't end well. He pressed the small red button on the handheld device. "Change of plans, any sober people, grab a body and head out! We'll have people grab your bags. Lets go!" He hung up the intercom and began opening the baggage carriers, chucking the suit cases onto the uncontious passengers below.

 They just stared at him before finally moving, a little distraught. Feliciano had a difficult time moving Ludwig. When I say that, I mean lifting his arm higher than a foot. Kiku began shaking the sleeping Greek, startling the three cats tightly intertwined around his body. Lili took her brother's shoulders and hesitated to shake him, calling Vash's name softly several times first. Roderich made the stupid mistake of grabbing Elizibeta's collar to support her standing up, making her collapse onto the ground into a small heap, still k.o'd. Some turned to Roderich as he scrambled to fling her over his shoulder. 

 Ivan entered the cabin, swigging his flask before sticking it back in his pocket. "So, we're going out now, da?" Alfred chucked 4 or 5 bags at the Russian, him easily deflecting them with his hand. "That was for me I'm guessing?" his intimidating Russian accent sending a shiver down the countrie's spines. "Yep! You need to help too!" Alfred replied with his famous smile.

The stupid American fearlessly approached him, picking up the suit cases and handing them off. "Now go wait outside with those." Ivan smiled and left the plane as the countries struggled to retrieve the bodies. "Kolkolkol." 

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 Arthur stood up. They had at least been on the ground for half an hour and he couldn't hear anything in the soundproof room. He stood upright, his legs nearly giving way under him for the millionth time.  

Somehow, he had managed to get away from the prostitutes and was now passing through the bar. The place was destroyed. A maid had begun to sweep up shards of glass while another hastily worked to wipe down the soaked counters. He hobbled towards the wooden door leading to the empty room, smashing his forehead on the oak.

"I swear I'll never drink alcohol again. I'll do anything, I'll team up with Ivan, I'll help men with breast cancer with Yong, I'll bathe an old person, just get me the hell of this bloody plane!" He felt someone wrap his arm around their neck, supporting his left side.

"Eh?" Alfred stood next to him, shaking his head pitifully, his eyes closed. "How did I turn out so amazingly with this guy as my hero..." Arthur blinked as they proceeded through the random room into the cabin.

"I was your hero?" The Brit grinned, the American's face reddening a little as he unhooked him at the top of the stairs. I am sooo gonna use this against him. "Well, that was a long time ago." He sighed and began to head down with the last remaining suitcases.

Arthur turned away. Why the hell am I crying?! He wipped his eyes. Probably just the sun. That doesn't even make sense! "Dude, are you crying?" The American laughed obnoxiously on the pavement. "Tch! No! I'm tired!" He lied, faking a yawn. "Why the hell do you even have that room?!" heading downward and chasing Alfred.

"Ve~ when are we leaving?" Feliciano whined, tugging at Kiku's shirt. "I'm getting hungry!" He felt a hand being placed on his head, Kiku's face going a bit pale and clenching his fists. "Da, the Italian is right." Feliciano squealed, believing at first it was his German friend's hand on top of him. "Oi, Alfred," Heracles finally spoke up. "I read before that New York is dangerous at night. Shouldn't we head out?"

Arthur finished man handling Alfred, the American fixing his glasses before nodding with a serious look in his eyes. "Yeah. I have to lay down some rules at the hotel suite. Three or four days of hell." He replied, gazing out at the setting sun, the rest of the countries following his gaze.

Everyone paused for an intentional dramatic silence. "But I'm hungry!" Feliciano whined loudly. "Alright then!" Alfred grinned, pointing his finger dramatically to the skyscrapers on the horizon. "Let's Go!" He heard a groan.

"Really Alfred. Are you kidding me..." The brit rolled his eyes, grabbing his suit case and heading towards the airport, the others following his lead. "What? What'd I say?"  "Nothing Alfred, just don't go around wearing your underwear on the outside and a tablecloth tied around your neck in my country." He glanced back at him devilishly. "I have a reputation too."

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Sorry It took me so long, I really had no motivation to write this D:

Next Chapter will make you laugh your ass off, and then you'll laugh at your ass.

Remember, PLZ COMMENT! :D